The "Only One Kid" Scream!!!

There are days when I feel like screaming whenever homeschool moms totally invalidate my family's homeschool experience with one dismissive comment, "Well, you just have one child..." (as if I somehow can't possibly understand what it's like to homeschool children because I only homeschool one child). 

Granted, I feel like screaming because I let it get to me.  But there are days when I want the moms of a larger family than mine to know know that I work just as hard as they do to provide a solid education for my child.

I worry that I'm not good enough as a teacher, not doing enough for my child's education or that I'm totally screwing him up by homeschooling...just like you do.  I spend hours preparing for our lessons, get all excited over neat finds (lessons, crafts, games, etc.) that will take learning to the next level for my child, and I enjoy all the special blessings that come from homeschooling...just like you do.  I want to better myself as a wife, mom and teacher, so I will attend classes and Conventions, read homeschooling magazines and follow my favorite homeschool "superstars" on Facebook...just like you do. 

Moms homeschooling multiple kids often think that homeschooling is a cake-walk for me and others blessed with "only one child" because we don't have to juggle different ages, different grades, different courses.  And while that is one burden we don't carry right now, we have our own set of dynamics unique to our family size that we contend with...just like you do. 

We don't have the luxury of siblings to entertain our children...we are "it".  We don't have that built-in social interaction for our child that comes with a large-sized family.  Nor do we have instant competition and enough players to play Duck, Duck Goose, Leap Frog, Red Rover or Dodge Ball (Simon Says gets really old, really fast). 

However, while we don't have that, we do have a lot!  We are able to pick up and go much easier than you, so we have a unique sense of freedom that comes with our education that others may not have.  There are last minute learning opportunities, classes and field trips that we can participate in because we don't have to juggle multiple nap times, music lessons and extracurriculars for each child.  We also pay for one child so when we offer invitations, we usually forget that those with more children have to multiply admission fees and number of Happy Meals by their family size making a day out totally out of the budget while a feasible, fun day for us.  We also can run to the library on a moment's notice especially when the rabbit trail unlocks that hunger for more knowledge.  And, we can just as easily interrupt school to run up to the grocery store to do real-life math problems rather than pull out our hair over another textbook word problem (plus come back with a cart full of groceries and our sanity still in tact).

But seriously, it's not even about you vs. me or your size family vs. my size family.  It's about us being moms who love our children and are leading them and educating them as God puts it on our hearts to do.  It's also about being aware that sometimes, those casual, dismissive, "you only have one child" statements dredge up feelings of longing, heart break, guilt or pain.  Maybe it wasn't our choice that we only have one child to homeschool and not 2, 3, 8 or 10 children to homeschool like other moms have.  Maybe our wishes weren't what God had planned for us yet we know that this one child that we do homeschool is a complete treasure and blessing from Him as much as your children are to you. 

And moms with one child, let's not be ashamed of homeschooling our only children!  We don't need to let others dismiss what we are doing.  Sure, it means being nice and biting our tongue whenever those famous "one child" phrases are uttered.  But, it also means letting go of those phrases and all the negative and inferior feelings that we let come with it.  God has called us to homeschool our only child as much as He has called the mother with multiple children to homeschool her children.  And there is no higher calling than living out those things that God has set us apart for and called us to do! 


Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!  ~Hebrews 12:1-3 (Message)