"Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding." Proverbs 4:5-7
My biggest piece of leadership advice from 2012 for any young leader is to let wisdom and discretion be your guide in everything, including relationships! If you have those unexplainable gut feelings and red flags, never, ever ignore them! Ignoring them can cost you greatly! Proverbs is soooo true about how wisdom shows you the way and how necessary it is to chase after her and maintain sure footing!
Yet when we lay wisdom aside, we find ourselves in places we never intended to go! In 2012, I needed those unintended places so I could realize my identity in Christ. But wow, did the lessons have to be so hard and painful? Maybe so, for they taught me that as a leader, wife, mom and daughter of God, I'm accountable for everything I say and do. Some consequences are ones you'll never see on the outside, but ones I see so clearly on the inside as God has shown me what He could have done but couldn't because of me (either by choices, playing games with Him or holding back from Him).
There still are moments when feelings of pure embarrassment and foolishness rush in from situations during 2012. Yet, these feelings serve as scars--scars that remind me of God's forgiveness, grace and love. Without understanding what He has done for me on the cross and how that affects every aspect of life and ministry, I couldn't move forward. These scars also remind me of the price we pay when our identity isn't solidly in Christ and when we get side-tracked by others or things we think we need (or are missing out on). And, these scars remind me of 2012...a year of mistakes that I don't care to repeat again.
In 2012, I learned the hard way that leaders have to be careful in who they trust...it matters greatly and affects waaaaaay more than you can imagine when you trust the wrong person. I've seen it happen to others in the past, but this is the first time it's ever happened to me. Sometimes, people you regard as a great leader or mentor will use you (yes, that's a tough fact to swallow), look you straight in the eye and lie to you (and then you begin to notice how they do it to others), and they say things they know you want to hear in order to get what they want from you.
And, be leery of the words, "This stays between us!" Use that phrase as a warning! If those words have to be uttered pre-conversation, then maybe this isn't a conversation worth having with that person. People you fully trust and who trust you, don't need those words because trust and confidentiality is a given. However, live by the fact that everything you say can be repeated (and added on to) so be careful in what you say and who you choose to say it to.
I also learned to not always take people at face value, to make people earn my trust rather than freely give it to them (that's a work in progress), and to speak up and not be afraid to ask questions (even if they are older or are a mentor).
I learned that just because someone is older than you and has been in ministry longer than you doesn't mean that they are automatically living in God's power and have a devoted relationship with Him. So choose your mentors wisely...they will affect you either positively or negatively. Sometimes, it's not until after the mentoring relationship is over that you see how much they were preying on your weaknesses (sins) and how "not right" for you that relationship was. And as you look back, you start seeing where God was like, "Hey! ... Hi!? ... Hello???? ...." and you totally missed it because you were standing on someone else instead of God!
See why living by the Proverbs is crucial to a young leader? It spares you from the hard life lessons! It's never too late to start listening to Proverbs. Sure, it might make you feel foolish all over again as you read your situations in black and white, but there is something strangely comforting about seeing your life lessons in the Word because it's where you begin to see God's hand even in your mistakes, God's love that never fails, and God's desire for us to live a better way! So, carry on ... but wisely! :)
