When Christmas Isn’t Christmas

At the beginning of December, I found myself really drawn into Matthew 1:23—“See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name Him Immanuel, which is translated 'God is with us.'” (HCSB)

 “...Immanuel, which is translated ‘God is with us’”…the longer I pondered the fact that a name could hold such meaning in life and survive a crucifying death, the more “God is with us” kept stirring in my heart. 

Two weeks before Christmas, I wanted to weave "Immanuel—God is with us" into the devotional for the Upward basketball teams for it was a message that the youngest kindergartner to the oldest coach could understand. I remember ending the devotional with something like "God is with us when we are happy. God is with us when we are sad. He is with us when we are scared or unsure what to do. We are never alone. So when you celebrate Christmas, remember that God is with us right now, not just as Baby Jesus, but He is real and really with us.” Little did I know that this thought would become a defining theme this Christmas! 

My son, NoNut, and I had our week leading up to Christmas planned with our favorite traditions like decorating cookies, finishing our Christmas shopping, doing more Christmas baking, playing Santa at the cancer center, caroling, making and delivering special gifts to our bank tellers and those who routinely serve us. We had our growing pile of Christmas story books, blankets to snuggle up under, mugs of hot chocolate to drink, and our usual Christmas movie line up. We began Christmas week celebrating Christmas only to find out mere hours later (not even long enough for our sugar cookie dough to chill) that my grandpa was at home taking his last breath. My world came crashing down as I got the call that my grandpa, who was like a father to me, unexpectedly and quietly passed away. It was hard to comprehend the news because we were supposed to have seen him later that day, take him to go see Christmas lights, play games with him, and have some fun Christmas adventures. But instead, we were left burying him 3 days before Christmas Eve. 

We were supposed to be getting ready for Christmas not standing next to my grandpa’s casket staring at it blankly trying to determine if this is really happening or not. And then less than 12 hours after burying my grandpa, my husband, PaNut, ended up in the emergency room with heart attack symptoms. The doctors determined that he didn’t have a heart attack but something was going on but he was stable so they sent him home in the wee hours of the morning. We were home all day and in the wee hours of the next morning, we were back at the emergency room and admitted overnight. It was so surreal. What do you do in moments like that?! I had no idea except that time keeps marching on and you just have to roll with it and figure it out as you go.

Earlier at the graveside, I kept thinking how much it stinks that we are burying my grandpa at Christmas—it wasn’t supposed to be this way! We didn’t get to have our Christmas memories with him! And what do you do when you have presents for someone sitting under the Christmas tree and suddenly they aren't there to open them? How do you even have Christmas without someone who has spent every single Christmas with you? And then as I looked at PaNut laying in the hospital bed so pale, uncertain, and scared instead of the strong, unwavering rock that he is, I felt this presence rush over me. The word “Immanuel” came to mind whispering “God is with us” as a mother would whisper comfort to a crying baby.

Immanuel—it’s a name that brings promise, hope, peace, and comfort. It’s a name that brought strength that carried us through the funeral and then both hospital stays. “God is with us” was reiterated in countless ways—through texts, visits, prayers (definitely the countless prayers!), and support. We saw that God wasn’t just with PaNut and I in the hospital, but He was also with NoNut and with our family who cared for him even though all of us were emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually depleted after my grandpa’s death and funeral.

It was really hard being away from NoNut knowing that he was still trying to understand what the funeral was all about and that his great grandpa was gone and now wondering if PaNut would be okay. But NoNut demonstrated a lot of courage and bravery through all of this. He showed a maturity about him that surpassed his years. I had to trust that God also had NoNut in His hands and trust that our family and friends were reassuring NoNut in my place. But God kept leading me to Psalm 91:11-12 to pray for not only my child but for PaNut and I—“For He will give His angels orders concerning you, to protect you in all your ways. They will support you with their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.” These verses became warrior verses. I actually had plenty of time while trying to sleep in the hospital chair to envision what angel protection must look like! [lol, “Whom Shall I Fear/God of Angel Armies” song kept running through my mind!] Each image of angel protection helped refuel my confidence that God IS with us.

A LOT happened at the emergency room both times—especially the second time. Yet in the midst of all the tests and waiting and more tests, there were big and small “Immanuel moments” where God was letting us know that He was with us--actually, He never left us. 

God demonstrated that He was with us by sending a childhood friend our way that I haven’t seen in years. She is a doctor as well as oversees the residency program and happened to be on call that weekend. She normally doesn’t go down the wing we were on but she did and my dad just happened to step outside of our unit thereby crossing paths with her. She was a God-send who walked with us through the whole ordeal, explained hospital procedures, convinced me to go eat and step away from PaNut for awhile, and she later sat with PaNut while I talked to friends in the lobby. She checked in on us after hours, and then a couple times the next day. Her presence helped us get excellent care as well as gave us resolve to speak up where needed for PaNut's care.

After PaNut was finally settled in his room, I was able to run home and get some things for our overnight stay. I also got to spend some time with NoNut and simply hug him and reassure him that God is with us no matter what happens and we will get through this. But I didn't realize how much we were in this intense funeral/hospital bubble until I crossed the threshold and took the longest, deepest breath ever. I looked around the living room at the darkened Christmas tree, remnants of Christmas festivities suddenly halted, shopping still undone and Christmas Eve the next day, and it hit me how unfair this is…this is NOT the Christmas I ever imagined. I sounded like a whining child as I shared my thoughts with God. When I was done, all I heard in reply was that quiet phrase “Immanuel—God is with us.” And then it hit me!

What if maybe this Christmas was supposed to be so totally different for us so that way we would understand what Christmas is truly about? What if we needed different to shake us up a little bit more (as if the events of 2017 haven’t been enough) so we could let go of our Baby Jesus view of God in order to cling to a Kingdom-type of God that we can’t comprehend but who wants to be with us anyway and who has been with us and will always be with us?

And then I got to thinking how Immanuel isn’t just a name. Rather, his name describes the lifestyle in which Immanuel walked when He was here on earth as He followed after God and did what He saw the Father doing. Immanuel describes an all-encompassing plan that was started long before His birth and continues to unfold long after His death. Immanuel is not only a name of the past but it's a name of the present because it leads the way to the future. It’s a name that conveys an everlasting love that extends far beyond our current circumstances.

As I pondered this and saw how just how much my Christmas got turned upside down in a matter of days and how everything that was supposed to be now wasn’t, the word “Immanuel” and it’s meaning of “God with us” began to usher in a different kind of Christmas--maybe the simplest yet truest form of Christmas that we've ever experienced. I could no longer mutter "This isn't fair" under my breath or feel hurt that God didn't at least let me say good-bye to my grandpa, because somehow in the midst of all of this, we were discovering the reality of Immanuel--how He lives up to His name, how He is with us, how He carries us by His grace, and how His grace somehow comforts even the deepest heartaches and holds the scariest fears.  

2017 has been a year of seeking freedom and learning to embrace what freedom means. Through this journey, I’ve been discovering that freedom is ultimately about removing all that prevents us from truly knowing God. Freedom lets us see things we weren’t able to see before which allows us to experience God firsthand rather than see Him from the sidelines working in others while wondering how to make Him real in our lives. When we walk in freedom, there is fresh room for the Holy Spirit to take the things we read in the Bible and weave them into our very being so that in moments of crisis, there is this surety that we can lean on Him and that He will take care of us. There is nothing manufactured about that kind of faith or freedom. There isn’t any box-checking with real Spirit work. It’s when we are our truest selves in the moment and really have no clue what’s next and can totally lean back rest in the Spirit that we fully know that God is with us—that Immanuel is who He says He is and He is ever worthy of that name.

Though PaNut made it home in time for Santa Claus to visit and we slept away most of Christmas Day and though we still don’t know why it’s taking PaNut awhile to recover and he’s having more tests done, there has been an undercurrent of peace as I know, without a doubt, that God is with us. There isn’t any guessing or hoping that He is with us because He IS with us. There isn’t any reviewing if I’ve been good enough by Christian standards nor wondering if this is some kind of punishment because, God IS with us. Immanuel’s presence dispels any doubts. And when I start to doubt that, Ephesians 1 reminds me that because of Immanuel, God truly is with us. 

There were a couple nights last week when anxiety hit hard and it was an all-out battle to rest in the promise of Immanuel, but God’s words remained sweet reassurances in the midst of it all. Psalm 91:11-12 with the vision of angels surrounding us and protecting us stayed with me beyond the hospital. Because God is with me, I am not the mess I feared I would be when the dust finally settled from the funeral and hospital. Yet I can also grieve knowing God is with me and that He is holding me and giving me what is needed to still meet the challenges of each day in order carry on with life and to find a new normal for our family.

So this week when Upward basketball reconvened, I followed up on the “Immanuel—God is with us” theme/devotional and told the kids that our Christmas wasn’t very merry because of what happened. However, this Christmas is where I learned that God really is with us, just as He said. Immanuel is real. I got to share some ways that we knew God was with us and how God used the little acts of love that others showed us to reassure us that He was with us. I wanted to use our experience to encourage the children to find ways to be Jesus to others whether it’s giving a high-five on the court or cheering for a teammate in order to remind each other that God IS with us. We are NOT alone...never!!

Santa vs. No Santa...The Debate Continues

I've tried to remain quiet on the Santa debate all season long, but I can't stay quiet on it any longer.  I've seen too many moms in a quandary over Santa.  This year, there have been a lot of Facebook posts and replies that share viewpoints that either take Bible verses out of context, create this false sense of spiritual superiority, or discredit the specialness of Christmas if Santa is in the picture that it's hard not to give a response.  So, I want to share an email I sent a friend this morning that shares our take on Santa as a way to encourage moms to keep doing what God is leading you to do, to do what works for your family and to not let anyone rob you of the joys and blessings that God has given us through these special moments with our family.

Time is fleeting!  Whether we believe in Santa or not shouldn't be the question.  Rather, it should be are we following God and seeking to honor Him in the best way for our family?  If so, carry on without reservation!  If not, examine what did and didn't work for your family this Christmas and experiment with some changes next year.  Either way, this post isn't to create debate, but rather encourage you to think about why you're doing what you're doing.  Is it for man or for God?  Therein lies your answer to the Santa debate! 


Hi Friend!

Saw your post about Santa and wanted to just share my thoughts if it's okay! This has definitely been a hot topic this year especially in homeschooling circles. After reading FB statuses and links, there were many times I was left feeling like I was not spiritual enough, misguiding my children and a liar thanks to all the people who posted their views about Santa and how "wrong" he is and how/why they don't do Santa w/their kids. It almost seemed like not believing in Santa was a badge of honor or a hallmark of Christianity. And for some on FB (which is impossible to judge tone and intent), it seemed like they came across as "we're better than you bcs we don't believe" including yesterday when a couple moms posted a link to all of these verses about false prophets and connecting Christmas w/the devil. I had to choose not to let it bother me because we did so many things season to celebrate Jesus's birthday. There's nothing I would have changed about what we did by removing something or adding more because we did what worked for us and in a way that we felt honored God.

When my son was little, we talked about whether or not to introduce Santa, but my husband and I both grew up with Santa and it's a fun tradition that both of our families did while still celebrating Christ's birth. To me, it never took away from the meaning of Christmas because my parents were so intentional about making it about Christ's birth the entire year/season, not just doing 1 or 2 Christ-centered activities on Christmas Day. It was like Santa was part of the birthday celebration like we give gifts to each other on our birthdays. It was never the main focus, but it WAS a part of our childhood and I don't feel like we were worse off because of it.

I found a Christmas kids book that talks about St. Nick and who he was and how he died and how the Santa tradition got started and then it leaves it up to the parent to decide if there's a Santa still today or not. Last year, my son thought he could just pray about his wish list bcs God would tell Santa what he wanted and Santa could deliver it. This year, my son was a bit confused about whether or not there was a real Santa, but we always came back to questioning if Santa (or any person) can really see if we're sleeping, awake, good or bad and tied it all in w/God's character. We've talked about how the real St. Nick is dead but we still carry on fun traditions that help us remember Christ's birth and remember each other and try to leave some surprises like the real St. Nick did.

In our Advent tree this year, we not only did a fun surprise (gift, Christmas activity/event, etc.), but I included a little slip of paper w/a gift for God that all of us had to seek to do every day. Wasn't sure if it was going to work and the response to it, but the second week into it, it was such a challenge to me and just another way to be intentional about Christmas. We had fun "writing" our own praise song to God as a family and singing it to Him, surprising each other w/a kind deed, adding something special to our prayers, etc.

I was surprised at how often my son would give that gift without any prompting from us because it was something he wanted to do for God! I learned some new things about my child in the process and how much he thinks about God but needs guidance and practical instruction to help him carry out his beliefs. He didn't realize he could sing his own praises to God and I didn't realize he got so frustrated over not remembering the words to the songs he was learning in church! To me, I thought that worship was a given/natural, but I'm really seeing where children need us to get back to the basics and teach them about worship rather than assume they know all of our Christian "jargon". To me, these moments of creativity or surprise or spontaneity of giving our gifts to God each day are what made Christmas for us! It was special on Christmas morning in the midst of opening up Santa's presents that my son stopped to thank us and thank God for the gifts and for "Jesus being born" because it was as if all the gift giving to God this season prepared him for Christmas day (if that makes sense).

I think about the stumbling block verses in the Bible and then the one where all things are lawful but not all things are profitable (I Cor. 10:23) and think about how only we know our hearts and families and see what's going on both day in and day out. What works for one family, may not work for the next. Maybe doing Santa is a stumbling block for some but on the flip side, all the posts against Santa are equally a stumbling block. Think at the root of it should be love, not judgment and we have seen way more judgment this year than in years past over Santa and Halloween/church fall festivals.  Maybe it comes w/the homeschooling territory, but I just keep coming back to the fact that God has guided us so many times in the past and that He'll give us that small gut feeling if we're not putting Him in His rightful position and need to make adjustments along the way. 

This Christmas really showed me that there is a way to do Santa while still honoring God (and not lying to your children) and making sure that God remains the focus! Kinda feel like if you're spiritually training your children all along, then celebrating Christmas shouldn't be an issue, that you'll know how to naturally talk about Christ's birth among all the fun traditions (take advantage of the teachable moments). And, one thing I discovered by looking at all the FB pictures is that most of the families who don't do Santa, still do some form of it whether it's just stockings or giving as many gifts as we gave our child--rather from the parents, not from Santa. Am seeing that it's all in the name and what you want to call it, not so much the gift-giving tradition itself. Interesting ...

While there is a ton of debate and many would debate what I just said, take it for what it's worth and enjoy the moments and lead your family how God is leading you and your husband. I've been blown away by just how conservative the homeschooling world is in some areas but not in others. It's like everything else...we've gotta put our blinders on and look to God only and know that no one else knows the inner workings of our own families like we (and God) do!

Need a Family Gift Idea??

As a child, I remember my parents reading me the Christmas story from a special book every year!  While this Christmas book simply quoted the Scripture, there was just something extra special about my mom pulling out that book and reading it to us.  I had been looking for a book like that for years so I could carry on that tradition with my family.  However, I've turned up empty-handed until I ran across "Uncle Rick's Holiday Book"!

Uncle Rick's Holiday Book by Rick & Marilyn Boyer (Character Concepts) is a "coffee-table"-worthy book!  It lays out the history and significance of ten different holidays as well as includes a section sharing holiday-themed ideas, recipes and additional resources.  The pages are colorful and captivating especially for younger children.  I'm sure my child will remember the photographs on these pages when he is an adult as much as I remember the pages from that special book that my mom read to me!

Uncle Rick removes all the holiday consumerism and shares the facts and intent surrounding each holiday while giving great honor to God and the Christian principles that our Nation was founded on. 

We have this book on display in our home and I've enjoyed watching guests of all ages nonchalantly pick up this book and end up engrossed in one of the holiday stories!  They usually light up with excitement because they learned something new or close the book with appreciation for the author as he preserves the truth of these holidays. 

We can't wait to purchase more of these books to give away as gifts!

Holidays Included:

February 22 -- George Washington's Birthday
Spring -- Resurrection of Jesus
May 30 -- Memorial Day
June 14 -- Flag Day
July 4 -- Independence Day
September 14 -- The Star-Spangled Banner
October 12 -- Columbus Day
November 11 -- Veteran's Day
November -- Thanksgiving
December 25 -- Christmas

Shepherd-Like Faith

Every year, something new jumps out at me from the Christmas story giving Christmas a renewed meaning and application.  This year is no different as the shepherds come into view in Luke 2:15-18 and remind us what simple faith is all about!     

"So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, "Let us now go into Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us."  And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in the manger.  Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which has told them concerning this Child.  And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds." 

Think about it...you're out in a field in the middle-of-nowhere, no street lights, no traffic, no airplanes overhead...just pure quietness interspersed with the sounds of nature.  Suddenly, massive brightness, holy chaos and talking angels appear out of nothingness!  I jump enough when my husband sneaks up behind me and scares me so I can't even imagine the pure adrenaline rush of that moment when the shepherds saw the angels and were immediately surrounded by God's glory ... terrified seems like an understatement! 

After the angels left, it's like the shepherds’ terror was replaced with surety and anticipation—a faith that something big had happened whether they understood the implications of it or not.  They didn't waste time analyzing what just happened, wondering if the angels spoke to the wrong guys, questioning if it really was from God, making pros and cons lists, researching other options, and seeking opinions from those outside of their group.  Instead, they had a sense of urgency that compelled them to leave straight for Bethlehem!

Seeing the face of Jesus had enough power and impact that, "Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about the child." (Luke 2:17, Message)  I wonder what made the greatest impression on the shepherds that night.  Was it the sheer glory and words of truth and hope that the angels spoke or was it seeing the baby in the manger or was it a combination of both?  Seriously, if five newborns born on the same night were placed side-by-side, what would make one baby stand out from another and cause me to exclaim, "Now, that’s Jesus!" especially if he looked like all the other babies?  Would I believe that one of those babies was Jesus without an angel intervention?  Would I still believe that one of those babies was Jesus with an angel intervention?  And, that's where faith comes in!

The shepherds in Luke 2:15-18 remind us that:

1. Faith is believing without doubt, vs. 15 (see also Mark 11:20-24 and Hebrews 11:6).
2. Faith really is for us, not only for those who we perceive to be better, more spiritual, more everything than us, vs. 15 (see also John 3:16-17, Acts 10:34-36 and Matthew 18:12-14).
3. Faith means believing that God has chosen you and has a distinct plan for your life, vs. 15 (see also I Corinthians 12:12-31, Ephesians 2:4-10 and Jeremiah 1:5). 
4. Faith requires going and following with haste, vs. 15-16 (see also Matthew 16:24-27, Matthew 19:20-21 and Hebrews 3:12-14). 
5. Faith in God alone is enough to turn our world upside down, vs. 17-18 (see also Matthew 9:20-22, Matthew 17:14-21 and Psalm 96). 

Sometimes, we overthink faith and make it way more complicated than what it should be.  The stripped-down version of faith is believing in God and that He desires us, speaks to us and wants us to see, follow and speak of Him.  When we see and experience God and then share that God-experience (big or small) with others, we are given a glimpse of what it must have been like for the shepherds on that first Christmas!  What excitement, joy, hope, awe and wonder can be found when we stop and consider what a shepherd-like experience might look like for us this Christmas!