A Different Form of Worship, but Worship Nonetheless

Music has a way of sticking with us long after a sermon. We are forever surrounded by music on our iPhones, in our cars, in stores, etc. Music is one of the ways wherein God speaks to His people as  it soothes, reassures, convicts, encourages, and gives hope. Aside from God's Word, nothing else speaks to me more than music...that's probably why I've spent 3/4 of my life making music in one form or another. Music also has taught me a lot about teamwork, pride, comparison, unity, purpose, and worship. Have spent more time making music than thinking about what goes on behind the scenes and what all is involved in ensuring that people can hear my music. Seriously, think about it...how hard can it be to turn on a microphone and push play on a CD player, right??

Ummmmm...yeah...take a look:

The first time I saw the sound board, I had no desire to even look at it...it was someone else's department and it was way over-my-head complicated. But the more I started observing and piecing things together during praise team practices (where it was about sound checks and monitors), the more that sound board became like this one giant puzzle that beckoned to be solved. There was this uncanny method to the madness that somehow required doing all you can to take music to the next level.

It's taken awhile to really decide if learning how to do sound for church is something I just want to "master" for the pure challenge of it (like I need something else to add to my schedule right now) or if it's something that God wants me to learn as another form of worshiping Him. The latter is one that I've spent a lot of time praying over because doing the sound is outright work and fast-paced stress (how can that be worship?). It requires attention to detail and a level of focus that means blocking out every single thing in order to hear what is in front of me. As I dabble in it some, God keeps showing me how doing the sound completes the circle of worship.

God further shaped my mind toward it today as He showed me what a pure gift (and responsibility) it is to be able to serve the praise team in this way. Over the past year, it has been such a joy getting to know the different people that sing and/or play instruments in our church because they are way more than musicians. I've enjoyed hearing their stories, watching them making decisions in their lives from school to dating to jobs, praying with a few of them as we go through life's challenges, and seeing how God is working in their lives to grow them whether they see the growth or not. Sunday worship may be the connecting factor, but there is daily worship happening during the week as we try to live for God in a culture that wars against all of that.

Therefore, it's meaningful to have this opportunity to be able to take such talent and hearts for worship and try to blend it in such a way that continues to brings glory to God and to make sure that each song is blended ever perfectly as a testimony of worship in our hearts. No, I'm not about creating a "goosebump worship moment" but it's about the process of worship and being able to see it come together from the very first note of Saturday practice to the last note on Sunday night. It's about taking every voice on the platform and merging it with the others in such a way that beautifully portrays the body of Christ as each voice functions within its own role. And when those voices blend, an underlying depth and richness form which enhance the message that is being sung. 

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 150. I have to admit that Psalm 150:4 instantly became my favorite verse when I was in fourth grade when I began playing the flute simply because it had the word "flutes" in it. However, as I've grown up, I began to understand more and more what Psalm 150 worship is about and the delight and beauty of being able to "praise God in His sanctuary" both literally and figuratively.

Praise the Lord!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty firmament!
Praise Him for His mighty acts;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness!
Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;
Praise Him with the lute and harp!
Praise Him with the timbrel and dance;
Praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with clashing cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord!

As I compare Psalm 150 with God's design for creation and Christ's birth, death, and future return, it points to order not chaos, purpose not haphazardness, and something that is life-changing not complacent. How can our worship be anything but that? And why would we waste our time participating in anything less than that? And that fuels my desire even further to give what I have to follow God's design for worship and to give my friends in the praise team and the choir that kind of gift and to help them be able to worship with order and purpose so not only our hearts, but the hearts of those in our church, will seek God, praise Him, and worship Him together as described in Psalm 150. 

No pressure, right, especially with like, a hundred knobs that control something and will either enhance or detract from worship?? But yet at the same time, that is part of the beauty of worshiping God through doing the sound (and even with singing as I still experiment with that)--it pushes me beyond my comfort zone, myself, and my abilities and into a place of utter dependence on God knowing that if it's for Him, it has to be about Him and done through Him and by Him. It's when I am in the midst of Him that worship truly takes place whether it's with my flute, voice, piano, or sound board.

p.s. I had to google whether it's worshipping or worshiping and one p won out...had no clue it was such a debate! ;)

ten // five minute friday

Five Minute Friday (#FMFparty) gives writers a word prompt. We are encouraged to write whatever comes to mind about that word in just five minutes.  No editing, no perfection, only writing from the heart.  To find out more, visit http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/.  This week's word is "TEN".

Thought about this overnight trying to decide where to go with "ten" because a number just begs for some kind of list. I decided to go with ten of my favorite Bible verses (it's hard to pick just 10)!

Life has been so up and down this summer as we go from one high to one low and then back to another high and low! It's so characteristic of my life as I tend to live in black and white and in the extremes. However, it is in the extremes where God teaches me the most about Him. It's where I learn to work out my salvation and learn to see Him no matter what blessings or curve balls come my way. And it's where I learn how much God desires stillness and nearness first instead of last after I've exhausted all of my other man-made options (*sigh* I have a long way to go with that lesson).

So, this list is more for me as I remind myself once again of God's truth, promises, commands, calling, and comforts that He has given me over the years to cling to and live by in the extremes and the not-so-extremes (in the rare event that they do occur).

1. "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." Psalm 32:8 (KJV)

2.  "Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19 (KJV)

3. "If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For 'whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.'" Romans 10:9-12 (NKJV)

4. "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1 (NKJV)

5.  "Praise the Lord! Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty firmament! Praise Him for His mighty acts; praise Him according to His excellent greatness! Praise Him with the timbrel and dance; praise Him with stringed instruments and flutes!" Psalm 150: 1, 2, 4 (NKJV)

6. "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then said I, "Here am I! Send me." Isaiah 6:8 (NKJV)

7.  "Do not curse the king, even in your thought; do not curse the rich, even in your bedroom; for a bird of the air may carry your voice, and a bird in flight may tell the matter." Ecclesiastes 10:20 (NKJV)

8.  "And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet." Ephesians 6:10-13 (Message)

9.   “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 (Message)

10.  "God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains..." Psalm 68:6 (KJV)

[Thanks to biblegateway.com who made it possible to accomplish this list within the five minute writing window...lol!] 

free // five minute friday

Five Minute Friday (#FMFparty) gives writers a word prompt. We are encouraged to write whatever comes to mind about that word in just five minutes.  No editing, no perfection, only writing from the heart.  To find out more, visit http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/.  This week's word is "FREE".

Today, a meeting unexpectedly cancelled and I found myself with a babysitter and free time. After I dropped by work to finish up some things, I found myself driving by the cemetery where we had my grandma’s funeral a month ago. I haven’t been back to her grave site since the day we buried her.

I get to her spot but am so lost. I wander aimlessly looking for my grandma among the names. I know the area where she was buried, but nothing was there—no flowers, no head stone, no nothing to ever prove that she was buried there. There was a shoddy, unkempt mound but surely that wasn’t her because nothing about her was ever unkempt. The caretaker was delivering flowers to a nearby grave and asked me who I was looking for and I told him in a mildly panicked voice, “My grandma” (now that was really helpful…). Once I told him the name, he pointed to the unkempt patch on the ground…the one I looked at but, nah, that couldn’t be her!  No!!! You don't just leave someone you love in the ground like that without a name and not even acknowledge their existence without some kind of marker of life (to be fair, it's all in the works and the caretaker reassured me of that). My heart was not prepared for the nothingness, for the unkempt mound of grass, for the brown and black dead flowers that once held color, tears, and memories as we placed them upon her casket.

I plopped down next to my grandma’s grave and wept in the silence and stillness of the cemetery. How I miss her! How I long to hear her voice, get an email from her, and hear her take on life (esp. in light of these prophetic current events). As those large, love-filled, sad yet healing kind of tears flowed and as I poured out my cries to God, a cacophony of tweeting arose above me like I have never heard before that beckoned me to lift my head.

As I raised my head, I began to notice what was around me…how suddenly, out of silence, came an orchestra of freedom--birds soaring freely overhead and tweeting non-stop praises, colorful butterflies flitting from flower to flower, puffy white clouds gliding carefree in the sky and then my eyes glance back downward to the reality of death before me. I feel a war going on within me to simply believe in the concept of freedom as the birds keep singing, the butterflies keep flying, both oblivious to the lifeless bodies that lay in the ground below them.

My grandma is buried on a hillside where there stands a little shade tree just feet from her grave that makes for a perfect respite on this hot, sunny day. The coolness of the shade and the light breezes beckon me to sit here a little longer and truly see what is before me. Down the hillside, there is a tree grove that borders the cemetery and neighboring subdivision where the birds are loudly singing and soaring. And then I hear God’s quiet whisper in my heart, “My child, see that the grove is eerie, thick, dark, tall, endless, yet the birds are still singing through it. They are still soaring. They are free even in the darkness and heaviness. Your grandma is free with Me. You are free in Me.”

And then my mind wanders back to the song our choir is learning where the lyrics say:

“This is how Love wins, every single time, climbing high upon a tree where someone else should die. This is how Love heals, the deepest part of you, letting Himself bleed into the middle of your wounds. This is what Love says, standing at the door, you don’t have to be who you’ve been before. Silenced by His voice, death can’t speak again. This is how Love wins.”

My gma would laugh if she saw me!

As I run back to my van to grab my laptop (which I just happened to have because I planned to do some writing at Starbucks) to journal this moment before I forgot it, a yellow butterfly swirls all around me in Disney-like fashion (crazy, I know!). I stand there in pure wonder. Freedom is all around me! Death cannot contain life when it’s lived in Christ!

As I walked back to the tree, my eyes were drawn to the verse on the crypt which said:

“For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God.” Romans 8:38-39

Because of His blood, I am free and I am loved!

Moments later, an airplane flies freely above me preparing to land at a nearby airport.  Not five minutes later, I burst out in laughter as I had another “Only God” moment as a train coasted by next to the cemetery.

Life goes on. I can choose to remain in death whether it’s being bound by the past, by wounds, by life or I can choose to be free and to soar with praises on my tongue even in the heaviness of life. God comforts me today at my grandma’s grave by showing me He truly desires my freedom. He is calling me to see that the wholeness and freedom that my grandma is experiencing with Him in heaven today is right here for me, too. Freedom is His way of life…only if I choose to see. 

As I wrap this up (way after the Five Minute Friday time limit), another train treks on by. My grandma’s body still lays lifeless in the ground. Nothing has changed in the 1½ hours that I’ve been sitting under this tree except that I am given another round of the healing, deep-cleansing kind of tears as God captures my attention and comforts me with His always-outstretched hands that wait to be grasped so that He can pull me up off this ground and guide me as I learn to walk in freedom with Him.  

hope // five minute friday

Five Minute Friday (#FMFparty) gives writers a word prompt. We are encouraged to write whatever comes to mind about that word in just five minutes.  No editing, no perfection, only writing from the heart.  To find out more, visit http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/.  This week's word is "HOPE".

"Hope" is a word that is tossed around often, so I had to google its definition before pondering what to write. Hope is "to cherish a desire with anticipation; to desire with expectation of obtainment; to expect with confidence: trust." That definition falls in line with the feelings that arise whenever I read I Timothy 4:14-16 (Message):  

"...And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use. Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don’t be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation."

Such freedom and permission to explore all the unique things about us is granted in these verses. God has given each of us unique desires, dreams, talents, abilities, personalities and ministries that He wants to use both for our growth and for other people's growth. I've spent all of my life trying to fit into molds and living up to expectations all the while being ashamed of my uniqueness. God has really been showing me that unique isn't bad at all especially when He has a distinct plan for our lives.

Hope rises as we see God moving so vividly and so personally in our lives which in turn builds faith and confidence to live into that which He is calling us to do. We begin to see God's anointing and His power as we let go and surrender to Him. And we begin to experience Him in fresh ways that infuse hope into the very core of us as we believe that we are who He says we are in Him.

Cultivating our uniqueness and immersing ourselves into the ministry that He has given us means hoping (aka expecting in confidence) that God will show us His way (Psalm 32:8), that He will work out what is needed within our hearts to lead us in His way (Romans 5:1-5), and that His blood covers us in such a way that when we live in Him and His wholeness, we are totally pleasing to Him (Hebrews 13:21). When we live out of this kind of hope, others begin to see Christ in us as our lives can't help but be a living testimony of His love and power.

May God, who puts all things together, makes all things whole, who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus, the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant, who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd, up and alive from the dead, now put you together, provide you with everything you need to please him, make us into what gives him most pleasure, by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah. All glory to Jesus forever and always! Hebrews 13:20-21 (MSG)