In a world that constantly pulls families apart through busy schedules, sports, activities, education, careers and entertainment, I can't help but notice how much our churches inadvertently pull families apart as well. While it's not intentional and usually for explainable reasons, we have been astounded at the lack of co-ed Sunday School classes or Wednesday night classes in many churches in our area.
We've been visiting quite a few churches over the months looking for a home church and had no clue just how unfamily-friendly most of our Baptist churches are. And the sad part is, I don't even think many Christians even see what the problem is with churches offering so many men's-only and women's-only classes and the unspoken messages it sends to our children and to the world. It blows my mind how a family of five can go to church and all five family members have their own classes to attend, from birth right through adult. Am sure if pet sitting was available, the family dog or cat would even have a place to go as well.
Sometimes I wonder if the reason why there are so many men-only or women-only classes and hardly any couples/co-ed classes is because so many spouses go to church solo or go to church mainly for the kids programs and just attend a class while they are waiting for their kids. Or maybe it's because of leadership as it's hard to find men or couples willing to lead a class. Or maybe it's because we feel like we can somehow reach the community better if we divide up the groups in a church so it's not as threatening and overwhelming while at the same time failing to address the marriage crisis in America.
For years, my husband and I have enjoyed going to church together. It's our time to be together without the noise of the world bombarding us or trying to pull us apart. It's our time to learn about God together and to challenge one another in the things that we have heard. It's our time to reconnect, serve and hopefully be an example to others as we seek to serve God together as a family.
In our normal week, my husband is gone over 40 hours a week. When he comes home every night, we have dinner, spend time with our child before bed and then catch up on our things in the evenings before spending time together before we fall asleep. Yet, it seems like that time together is never enough. To me, desiring God and desiring to spend that time together with my spouse before God is so special and such a gift that it seems natural to want to go to church together, pray together, sit together and learn together. Yet we've been discovering just how unnatural that is in today's society as we've been visiting churches that don't offer co-ed classes except for the Sunday morning worship service. How have we as a church gotten so far away from God's original design for both the family and the church?
I was reminded this week in my son's devotions about the little boy who shared his lunch with Jesus and fed the 5,000 men plus all of the women and children that were present. Then, I started flipping through the pages in my son's Bible and noticed that that nearly every time there was a crowd around Jesus, it wasn't segregated as the Bible gives info on the crowd makeup (men, women, children). Sure, there were times when Jesus met alone with men or where women got together on their own, but the fact remains that whenever Jesus taught in a public crowd setting, it was a setting of all ages, genders, marital statuses and races. Anyone who wanted to hear Jesus could come...His "pulpit" was simply open.
What would happen if our churches got back to how Jesus taught and instead of separating out the husbands and wives brought them back together to learn, worship and sit at Jesus's feet together again? How would it strengthen and encourage marriages and families as whole instead of as individual units merely coexisting together under one roof? These questions keep running through my mind as, once again, my husband and I found a neat church but have to enjoy it separately instead of together (or be the only couple under the age of 60 in a co-ed class).
I don't know what the answer is, but I know that God has given our family a desire to worship Him and serve Him together and we can't afford to settle for anything less than that when it comes to church.
