What is blue and white, sucks hours out of your day, feeds drama into your life, builds convenient relationships, and creates a love-hate relationship with it? That about sums up my feelings on Facebook lately. Facebook is such a powerful tool for connecting people, encouraging others and praying for others, but it's also a powerful tool designed to distract, withdraw, and disguise reality.
When my child wants to write to Santa and tell him that his Christmas wish is that his mama doesn't use Facebook or her iPhone on Christmas and your husband isn't too far behind in sharing those same sentiments, you know there's a problem and it's time to really step back and examine what's going on and why.
*sigh* Yeah, I enjoy my iPhone--it keeps me connected to so many people during the day, but it's also the biggest distraction in my life. It's what I go to when I'm bored, tired, need a break, need a distraction. It's where I vent when I'm frustrated, share when I'm happy, and just talk about whatever whenever not stopping to think if anyone really cares or not.
But mainly, Facebook is one of those things that numbs your mind. It's where I can go and not think about anything. I can catch up on the latest on everyone's lives and watch kids grow up while keeping my distance. I can paint a vivid picture of my life that is true but it's not the overriding disposition of my life. I can learn a lot from various leadership organizations, ministries, leaders, and news and political groups. They fuel my hunger to learn new things (plus they help me retain the Quote Queen title for my love of quotes since FB is full of them), but then there are times when it all is pure information overload.
But there is a trade off with Facebook. You know as well as I do that it's super hard to go on Facebook for just five minutes. Five turns into ten and ten into 30 and 30 into an hour and before you know it, another evening has gone by and my house still isn't clean and my to-do list is still just as long as it was this afternoon.
And there just comes a point when I have to say enough. Change isn't going to happen while reading another article or quote about it on Facebook. My child is growing up. My husband is wanting more time with me. My brain is fried yet again because I have spent it on many different things throughout the day and then gave the rest of it to others on Facebook...others who are sitting on the other side of the computer screen, others who I will never meet in person, others who would never do more than post a generic "Happy Birthday!" every year. And where do you draw the line? When do you wake up and realize that you are surrounded by so many awesome people? And that maybe the reason why you don't have the time and energy to give to them is because you're too busy giving it away on Facebook?
I can't do this anymore...life is passing me by as I use Facebook to hide, escape, numb, and keep people at a distance. Life happens beyond my screen yet I'm not seeing it while I'm checking Facebook "one more time." Issues keep piling up because I'd rather see what everyone else is up to rather than deal with my own things. Discontent lurks nearby as I see what opportunities others have that I could have, too, but can't because of the season of life I'm in. Comparison makes me feel inadequate as I see others succeed, acquire, or achieve and it further breeds that discontent.
And then I'm tired of telling people on Facebook, "Sure, let's get together soon!" yet two and three years later, we're still saying the same thing. We still haven't gotten together because we don't have time to get together, yet we're always on Facebook at the same times...hmmmmmmmmm.
Maybe it takes a child's wish to Santa to get me to just stop ... stop and see what is going on ... stop and see where the underlying source of breeding discontent ... stop and see that there are people right in front of me--in person--that desperately want me, not a Facebook me. They want to be a part of my life, not read about my life. They want to do all the fun activities with us, not see more pictures about them. They want to just talk, not write everything out in a PM in text language.
What if I used all the Facebook time (and it's embarrassing to see how much time checking it here and there really adds up to be in one day) to do something that matters in person? What if I used that time to check in with my family? What if I used that time to just pray instead of post everything I'm thinking, feeling, and seeing on Facebook? What if I used that time in some kind of profitable way that served others around me instead of use Facebook to serve me?
Sometimes we just have to stop ... and last night, I didn't know of any other way to create change than to just deactivate my Facebook account (and oh, does FB ever try to lure you back in before you even deactivate). Something has got to give. If I'm serious about wanting more of God and more of family, I have to remove the things that are keeping me from the more. Facebook just happens to be that thing as it is the biggest time and energy drainer in my life. I don't know, I just need to try it and see what happens. It's almost been 24 hours since deactivation and I have to admit that today was amazing with my family. We were very productive, I was attentive, and everyone received what they wanted and needed from me--my undivided attention. Kudos to those who can get on Facebook and not get sucked into the world of Facebook, but I'm not one of those people. I just know I can't keep on this current path of being sucked into a Facebook world without sacrificing those I love the most and missing out on precious moments of my child's fleeting childhood.
And the funny part is that out of all of my Facebook friends and family, only two texted/emailed me today to make sure everything was okay. And those are the ones I'm close to outside of Facebook--our relationship extends beyond Facebook. It was very reaffirming that this is the right choice for now! There is such sweetness in face-to-face relationships over Facebook relationships and that sweetness and richness quickly erases any second thoughts of deactivation.
