Leadership Lessons From the Road

 

The month of May plus the whole archery Nationals experience from Day 1 of planning to the last day in KY taught me so much, like:

~The only one in control of my schedule/calendar is me so if I can’t find time to breathe, it’s an indicator that I lack self-boundaries;

~As a leader, not every request, complaint or drama-filled message needs an immediate reply (sometimes it’s a really healthy thing to let people sit in the tension of their drama and not have easy access to you);  

~While I love the archery families and want to be there for them, it’s ok to take a break to eat my hot dinner that’s sitting upstairs in my hotel room first (after not having time to get a good lunch at Nationals) rather than meet parents because they want to talk real quick about archery…it’s rarely quick and your dinner will get cold and you’ll just get internally frustrated that you can’t say no and can’t hear what they are saying over your hunger. It is ok to stop and eat dinner first while it’s still hot, especially if you’ve made yourself available all day long and will be available again the next day (this applies to any leadership context—sometimes we just need to be reminded that it’s ok to take a break);

~When you lead an overnight trip of any kind, it’s ok to turn your phone off when you get back to the hotel and to let people figure out things on their own after hours (especially when all the information has been given out multiple times and there are other capable people available to help). Turning off the phone preserves sanity;

~You don’t know what you don’t know and what you don’t know, you’ll learn very quickly what’s going to work and what’s not and adjust accordingly. Most of the answers, adjustments and shifts happened internally in order to be able to make it through a multi-day peopling experience that required more giving out than I’ve ever experienced before (it was the first time I took a large group of people out of town);

~Sometimes hiding in the bathroom stall for 5 minutes throughout the day away from any people, noise and talking, and having that few minutes to simply breathe and “be” is way more effective than pouring caffeine and sugar down my body all day long;

~There are seasons when our life simply won’t operate in a balance (especially if there is a large event or project on your plate) and it’s ok if finding balance is impossible…that imbalance has an end date and you will get through that season and be ready to regain your footing. That also brings a whole new level of awareness, gratitude and appreciation for the other areas of your life and how they contribute to your wholeness;

~My support system is priceless and they consistently remind me that God will equip, strengthen and sustain in the various things He leads me to. I don’t know what I would do without my husband and my spiritual mom! And it means a lot to have a strong group of ladies that I can send an SOS to and know they will faithfully pray;

~Setting boundaries and trying to honor them teaches others about boundaries. It is good and necessary to set boundaries in order to steward your time and energy well; 

~When you travel with people you work alongside with, you get to see another side to them. It’s so fun and it is a true gift when it deepens your appreciation of them; and 

~Finally, everyone has their own opinions about what/how things should be done. It’s humanly impossible to make everyone happy. There is great freedom in knowing you are making the most solid decisions you can make based on what is best for the group as a whole and then letting people be responsible for their own responses and (un)happiness. Sometimes the healthiest thing for everyone is to let people go. 

At the end of the day, don’t forget to take care of yourself while you take care of others! It has taken me a long time to learn this lesson, but it is absolutely vital in order to keep going and finish strong! 

Creative Corner

Lately, art has been more powerful and relaxing than writing. It's where I can ponder, meditate, and focus on positive things. It is also fun making things for others and having a different form of encouragement and appreciation to snail mail to my friends. This type of art break is to me what a coffee break is to others--it's relaxing, the calm in the midst of chaos, and a few minutes to simply breathe, refocus, and pray before continuing on with my day! Can't beat that! :)

So Why Can't I?

A few weeks ago, I began wondering why this person can take a vacation and not have to check in but I feel like I have to all the time.  Then I was wondering how that person could leave everything behind to have a spur-the-moment family day and not think twice about skipping out on a meeting.  Then I got to wondering why could another person have all that time with their children but then I keep getting asked to squeeze more into my packed schedule.  And I wondered, "When does it stop?  Why can't I go on vacation and leave everything behind?  Why can't I take family days and turn off my phone/email?  Why can't I say I no to activities when my calendar is bursting at the seams?" And then it hit me, I can!!!! 

When I honestly answer the "Why can't I?" question, I see what is at the root of it.  From there, I can make the necessary changes to live out the answer to that question. My "Why can't I?" answers lie in self-imposed busyness, the inability to say no, and the fear of failure, fear of disapproval, and the fear of missing out on opportunities. And when you line that up with God and His Word, it becomes so obvious where I'm missing the mark once again.  And I see where I desperately need God to infuse every single step, every single word, every single thought!  (See Phil. 4:5, Ecc. 3:1, Heb. 3:13, Gal. 1:10, Matt. 6:24, I John 4:18.)

One thing that I've been understanding lately is that we teach others how to treat us.  And in that, I've been discovering that no one is going to outright give me permission to take a break. No one is going to stand there and make me take time for myself and for my family. And generally the same people that are quick to tell me that I need to slow down and put my family first are the ones that have no shame in throwing more on me.  And, they are the ones that know how and when to call in a break for themselves without guilt and without the need to check in. Hmmmmmm...it really makes one stop and analyze what's going on and why.  In retrospect, people keep asking me to do things because I always say yes. They keep giving because I keep taking. And they keep offering because I keep doing regardless of cost. Frankly, I'm a quick, definite yes!

However, there is nothing wrong at all with people asking me to do things.  There are definitely things I want to do and love doing and would never even know about if I wasn't asked!  But there comes a point when it's time to grow up and realize that I am the only one responsible for my yeses and nos. I am the one responsible for setting my limits and boundaries. These things just don't happen without my intentional intervention. And I have to understand that life is a marathon, not a sprint.  It's a journey, not a destination, and just insert what other cliche fits here.

There truly is merit to pacing ourselves. I'm always eager to jump into everything with both feet and give 100%, but I'm discovering that it's okay to enter into things slowly. We have to pace ourselves because when we run at full speed ahead, we easily run over God without meaning to. When we constantly say yes without thinking about it, we are saying no to the God-ordained pace for our lives. And when we say no to God's pace for our lives, it's where we find that we are living out of ourselves instead in Christ. It's where we find ourselves striving so hard to fulfill everyone's expectations (including our own) that we project those expectations as coming from God when in reality, He never once asked for our striving. It's where we follow our plans and hopes for each day rather than take time to seek God for what He wants us to accomplish each day. That's where we're getting it wrong. 

Great freedom comes from living out of the "I can!" answer to the "Why can't I?" question when the "I can" is rooted in our view of God and His plan and pace for our lives. 

Santa vs. No Santa...The Debate Continues

I've tried to remain quiet on the Santa debate all season long, but I can't stay quiet on it any longer.  I've seen too many moms in a quandary over Santa.  This year, there have been a lot of Facebook posts and replies that share viewpoints that either take Bible verses out of context, create this false sense of spiritual superiority, or discredit the specialness of Christmas if Santa is in the picture that it's hard not to give a response.  So, I want to share an email I sent a friend this morning that shares our take on Santa as a way to encourage moms to keep doing what God is leading you to do, to do what works for your family and to not let anyone rob you of the joys and blessings that God has given us through these special moments with our family.

Time is fleeting!  Whether we believe in Santa or not shouldn't be the question.  Rather, it should be are we following God and seeking to honor Him in the best way for our family?  If so, carry on without reservation!  If not, examine what did and didn't work for your family this Christmas and experiment with some changes next year.  Either way, this post isn't to create debate, but rather encourage you to think about why you're doing what you're doing.  Is it for man or for God?  Therein lies your answer to the Santa debate! 


Hi Friend!

Saw your post about Santa and wanted to just share my thoughts if it's okay! This has definitely been a hot topic this year especially in homeschooling circles. After reading FB statuses and links, there were many times I was left feeling like I was not spiritual enough, misguiding my children and a liar thanks to all the people who posted their views about Santa and how "wrong" he is and how/why they don't do Santa w/their kids. It almost seemed like not believing in Santa was a badge of honor or a hallmark of Christianity. And for some on FB (which is impossible to judge tone and intent), it seemed like they came across as "we're better than you bcs we don't believe" including yesterday when a couple moms posted a link to all of these verses about false prophets and connecting Christmas w/the devil. I had to choose not to let it bother me because we did so many things season to celebrate Jesus's birthday. There's nothing I would have changed about what we did by removing something or adding more because we did what worked for us and in a way that we felt honored God.

When my son was little, we talked about whether or not to introduce Santa, but my husband and I both grew up with Santa and it's a fun tradition that both of our families did while still celebrating Christ's birth. To me, it never took away from the meaning of Christmas because my parents were so intentional about making it about Christ's birth the entire year/season, not just doing 1 or 2 Christ-centered activities on Christmas Day. It was like Santa was part of the birthday celebration like we give gifts to each other on our birthdays. It was never the main focus, but it WAS a part of our childhood and I don't feel like we were worse off because of it.

I found a Christmas kids book that talks about St. Nick and who he was and how he died and how the Santa tradition got started and then it leaves it up to the parent to decide if there's a Santa still today or not. Last year, my son thought he could just pray about his wish list bcs God would tell Santa what he wanted and Santa could deliver it. This year, my son was a bit confused about whether or not there was a real Santa, but we always came back to questioning if Santa (or any person) can really see if we're sleeping, awake, good or bad and tied it all in w/God's character. We've talked about how the real St. Nick is dead but we still carry on fun traditions that help us remember Christ's birth and remember each other and try to leave some surprises like the real St. Nick did.

In our Advent tree this year, we not only did a fun surprise (gift, Christmas activity/event, etc.), but I included a little slip of paper w/a gift for God that all of us had to seek to do every day. Wasn't sure if it was going to work and the response to it, but the second week into it, it was such a challenge to me and just another way to be intentional about Christmas. We had fun "writing" our own praise song to God as a family and singing it to Him, surprising each other w/a kind deed, adding something special to our prayers, etc.

I was surprised at how often my son would give that gift without any prompting from us because it was something he wanted to do for God! I learned some new things about my child in the process and how much he thinks about God but needs guidance and practical instruction to help him carry out his beliefs. He didn't realize he could sing his own praises to God and I didn't realize he got so frustrated over not remembering the words to the songs he was learning in church! To me, I thought that worship was a given/natural, but I'm really seeing where children need us to get back to the basics and teach them about worship rather than assume they know all of our Christian "jargon". To me, these moments of creativity or surprise or spontaneity of giving our gifts to God each day are what made Christmas for us! It was special on Christmas morning in the midst of opening up Santa's presents that my son stopped to thank us and thank God for the gifts and for "Jesus being born" because it was as if all the gift giving to God this season prepared him for Christmas day (if that makes sense).

I think about the stumbling block verses in the Bible and then the one where all things are lawful but not all things are profitable (I Cor. 10:23) and think about how only we know our hearts and families and see what's going on both day in and day out. What works for one family, may not work for the next. Maybe doing Santa is a stumbling block for some but on the flip side, all the posts against Santa are equally a stumbling block. Think at the root of it should be love, not judgment and we have seen way more judgment this year than in years past over Santa and Halloween/church fall festivals.  Maybe it comes w/the homeschooling territory, but I just keep coming back to the fact that God has guided us so many times in the past and that He'll give us that small gut feeling if we're not putting Him in His rightful position and need to make adjustments along the way. 

This Christmas really showed me that there is a way to do Santa while still honoring God (and not lying to your children) and making sure that God remains the focus! Kinda feel like if you're spiritually training your children all along, then celebrating Christmas shouldn't be an issue, that you'll know how to naturally talk about Christ's birth among all the fun traditions (take advantage of the teachable moments). And, one thing I discovered by looking at all the FB pictures is that most of the families who don't do Santa, still do some form of it whether it's just stockings or giving as many gifts as we gave our child--rather from the parents, not from Santa. Am seeing that it's all in the name and what you want to call it, not so much the gift-giving tradition itself. Interesting ...

While there is a ton of debate and many would debate what I just said, take it for what it's worth and enjoy the moments and lead your family how God is leading you and your husband. I've been blown away by just how conservative the homeschooling world is in some areas but not in others. It's like everything else...we've gotta put our blinders on and look to God only and know that no one else knows the inner workings of our own families like we (and God) do!

My Words for 2013

I've sat down many times to write a New Year's post but the words will not come.  I don't know how to translate all the things God has been showing me into sentences and paragraphs as they have been deeply thought-provoking and requiring a life response.  To talk would cheapen His lessons and to share would be premature as He is still chipping away at a few things to make room for a better understanding.

So, simply put, here are my words for 2013--words that answer who God wants me to be this year, words that provide an instant checklist for every choice and decision, and words that push me to action:

a devoted, disciplined, decluttered disciple

It's a lot, but it's doable (yes, the letter "D" has been popping up everywhere to support these words...it's crazy)!

I love how these words give me a way to weed out bad vs. good vs. best and a way to weed out the things that don't create rhythm in my life through asking the following questions (keep in mind that nearly everything can be filled in the blanks below):

    ~  Will _____ help me become more devoted to Christ and fuel a passion for Him or will it distract me or cause me to lose my focus on Him?

    ~  Is ____ helping me be more disciplined?  (Hey, the dishes are actually getting done every night because wasting time on Facebook isn't a picture of discipline.  I'm finally making progress on my stack of books because discipline means being mindful instead of sitting mindless in front of the TV.  And I'm discovering that skipping McDonalds has more than financial benefits as healthier choices are made and I feel better.)

    ~  Do I really need _____?  (from another purse or "thing" to an attitude, emotion, activity or ministry--it makes me question why I'm hanging on to things and what is my motive)?

    ~  What would Jesus do?  As ultra-generic as this question is, if I want to follow Christ and be His disciple as well as disciple others, I want to do what He does and respond as He would out of a genuine desire for Him.

Being a devoted, disciplined, decluttered disciple is a tall order, but this is who God has called me to be this year!  I'm excited about this journey of discovering Him and intentionally making my life a testimony of what He can do when we choose to let Him!

What are your words for 2013? 

Persevering Through Paralyzing Life Lessons

My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.

Hebrews 12:5-11 (MSG)

Back in the winter, disappointment, frustration and impatience got the best of me as I reacted instead of prayed about a situation.  I vented out of pure emotion (in an email of all things) and it didn't stay confidential.  Though it sounds like a little thing and "we've all done that" at least once in our lives, it turned out to be costly in so many ways.  I doubt that it was as costly to those who received the email vent as it was to me personally.

It was one of those life lessons that showed me reality, humbled me in unspoken ways and thoroughly broke me so I could see myself as God sees me (the good, the bad and the ugly--especially the areas that were lacking Him).  It's probably been the most defining moment for me this year. 

Though many months have passed since "the email", the consequences have been just as powerful as they were the day it happened as pockets of division (in more than one relationship) and bitterness began to creep in.  And even though the months have been lined with consequences, "the email" brought many blessings that spoke so much to the extent of God's grace, the healing that comes through community and the strength that comes from finding our full identity in Christ.

There were days when this mistake paralyzed, distracted and haunted me as it was hard to recover from.  Every time I think I "got it" and learned all there was to learn from that situation, God would unearth something else until we finally reached the root of the issue.

It's been so tempting to give a cheesy excuse and walk away from it all because, face it, it's flat-out easier to do that than to deal with the issues.  Yet, deep down inside, I knew I needed this.  I needed to hit rock bottom in order to see where I was lacking.  I needed to see that God wanted way more than skill, creativity, strategy and forward movement (even if it was for Him).  I needed to see that ministry is all about love and working in harmony with others as the body of Christ.  And if we can't do that, then we have no right leading others toward Christ.  Because when love isn't at the root of any relationship, it's not reflecting Christ but ourselves (and that's a scary place to be in)! 

I've been praying a lot about whether or not to simply cease everything and spend a year learning what it means to simply love others out of Christ's love.  But, God's response continually leads me back to revisiting my leadership philosophy, operating out of that for awhile and then making a decision (which I finally figured out what what my coach meant by "leadership philosophy" and all it entailed...something I didn't grasp before "the email").  As God helps me live out that leadership philosophy, gradual shifts are occuring that speak of God's transformational love and second chances (or third chances, maybe fourth...lost count).   

Today of all days, months after all of this happened, I ran across Hebrews 12:5-11 (above) and everything that has been going on instantly made sense!  For months, I've allowed myself be totally crushed by God's disciplining because I failed to understand the intent of it.  As I look at all the lessons, challenges and consequences that resulted from "the email", I see where it really has been training all along!  It was purposeful, necessary yet loving all at the same time.  God was in the midst of training me to see Him as my Father.  And through seeing His Fatherly love and intent not only through these verses but in all the things we've been learning in our homeschool Bible class, I could finally let it all go.  And through the letting go, I've been able to truly live again resulting in this peaceful balance that speaks so much of Him. 

No, I don't have it all down and I still have moments where, ummmm, my mouth shows where love is lacking.  But, there are moments when I get it, when I see what God can do and wants to do long-term.  It's going to take work, perseverance and living life through the power of the Spirit to master these concepts. Encouragement to press on through this training is laid out in Hebrews 12:1-3. 

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Compared to the cross and what resulted from the cross, it's worth seeing discipline and training all the way through.   

(And KT, while the devotional you sent totally related to where I was at and it was so timely, it didn't fully click until Hebrews this morning where all sorts of connections were made!  As I wrote this blog, I kept thinking that all of this sounded vaguely familiar and then was reminded of you! ;)  Thank you for planting the seeds!)

From Unraveled to Alive

"Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.

And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you’ve come out of this with purity of heart."

II Corinthians 7:10-12

A month ago, several things unexplainably unraveled.  Things didn't make sense but then they did.  I kinda knew who was behind it all and why--God was trying to pry open my hands once again.  It's hard to let some things go, but the things that we cling to the tightest are representative of something larger, something deeper that we don't want to let go of--the habits, attitudes, faults, beliefs, etc. that we'd rather just pretend didn't exist but somehow make their way out and permeate everything.

Through all of this "weirdness", I'm starting to really embrace it because, although painful at times, I see what it's doing and how it's bringing rhythm and redirection in several key areas.  Mainly, it's been a time of getting rid of all the mental, emotional and relational clutter and getting back to the basics ... faith in its simplest form!  And, there's no better place to see childlike faith than to experience it with my child.  So rather than recreate a new post, let me just copy a portion of an email I sent to my mentor the other day that sums up September 2012 perfectly: 

[My son's] new missions project w/Sonlight started today.  They are doing Phoenix Phaxx, a 13 yr old who explores 4-5 countries (mainly in Asia) and their religions (http://phoenixphaxx.com).  The kids are raising money to buy radios for Far East Broadcasting Company and Sonlight will match every dollar raised up to $150,000 so my child has already been doing odd jobs and extra chores to earn coins.  Today, he learned about Russia via the Phoenix Phaxx video and wow, I got the goosebumps listening to my son pray for Oksana...this girl in an orphanage who received a radio and accepted Christ thru a kid's program.  It still blows me away how God is taking these little desires of my heart and weaving them into homeschool (especially in developing a missional heart within my child)!

Last week, our history lessons were all focused on the first missionaries where we learned about St. Augustine, Boniface, St Patrick, Columba and Queen Margaret of Scotland and saw how everything all intertwined with the history we have been learning this month!  It adds a whole layer of depth to history when you see behind-the-scenes like that ... it's not just the Vikings, but rather the monks at Lindesfarne who were afraid that the Vikings would find their Gospel and/or it'd get burned and the lengths they went to protect it only for the Gospel to be lost at sea via a big storm.  However, it got washed up to shore, completely in tact and only a few pages wet, allowing it to be translated and preserved.  God's hand can be traced even waaaay back then.

And then as my child and I do Bible class every morning and read from Ergermeier's Bible Story Book, I'm seeing God in a whole new light.  He's a God who wanted His people to love Him.  He gave them soooo many chances to repent yet they continued on in their ways (been reading about Moses this month).  It's stuff I've heard all my life, but I still hold that childhood/conservative-college-girl-view that God is the Judge, He's hard to please, a God of do's and don't's and grace is something for Charismatics (and I sit here and wonder why consistency is so hard for me to maintain w/a God like that)!  But, that's not God at all....His judgments aren't randomly given without ample opportunity to turn to Him first.  All I see is mercy and grace where I've never seen it before...and all of this from my child's Kindergarten curriculum.

Then, I've been struggling a lot lately bcs I'm not "doing" anything missions-wise except for myMISSION.  Have had to put a couple ministries (and missions dreams) on hold when we started homeschooling (although I really hoped I could do it all).  But then I see where God is placing me within my community via homeschooling.  He is taking the past 9 years of being mere acquaintances with workers throughout our community and giving us opportunities to build real relationships with them through the "field trip" route or just through them wanting to know what exciting things we learned today.  We're seeing so many people outside of the church really rally around us as we homeschool our child ... they've watched my child grow up before their eyes and know the smiles he's brought to them in their check-out lines or in all of the meetings and they are so excited to have something to give back to him.  And my son's insights are so pure sometimes, so "it's God, so no explanation is needed" and definite that it takes people back sometimes (even me) and opens the door for more conversations. 

So, what if "doing" missions looks different in 2012 than it did back in 1980 when the women who tend to criticize myMISSION the most were raising their children?  Just seeing how "seasonal" and transitional 20s-30s are and seeing how having a school-aged child really does put you in another season of life (regardless of homeschooling or not).  And after really wrestling over this in prayer and just seeking God for what am I supposed to do, I see where He has put me right now as the biggest mission field regardless of who agrees or not.  There are all these little opportunities to have conversations and meet people that I've never met before that stems from homeschooling.  And, you can only imagine the conversations that occur when people find out that your child is homeschooled and that's why he's not "in school" right now.

Those that know me best know that when God lays something on my heart, the passion and belief I have in it comes across excitedly and sparks unique conversations.  Through that and just being in the moment rather than stressed out about the details of everything, I get the privilege of letting my child see and hear what missional living really means.  An older woman at the post office teared up last week when my child held the door open for her and said, "Hope you have a great day!" and then excitedly turns to me and asks, "Was I being God's little boy just now?"  It's the little things!!!  What is the point of missions if we're too busy trying to do all these big projects and chase after big ideas and neglect the little things, the here and now?

All of this because of a few unexplained unravelings ... I love the verse above because in the death of letting go, I have truly become alive!  It's affecting everything, even the way I lead.  I don't feel like my mind has to be myMISSION 24/7 yet I'm not shirking myMISSION either.  It's about living one moment at a time, doing a little planning ahead, but mainly just sitting back and letting things happen as they happen.  Am not used to leading that way at all, but it's a welcome change of pace!  There are moments when I feel like I need to be out there actively recruiting new women for our group, but then at the same time, the questions "Why?" and "When?" remind me that God has our group right where He wants it and that He is growing it in His time and in His way!  I have such peace about planting myMISSION seeds again this year rather than running ourselves ragged trying to do everything to attract young women.  Slowing the pace is good for us and removes a lot of the stress!  Am really looking forward to seeing what God does this year especially when it means sitting back and letting Him do all the leading and working and us simply following Him! 

Not About the Answer but the Process

"Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are--face-to-face!  They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone.  And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete.  We're free of it!  All of us!  Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of His face.  And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become more like Him."  II Cor. 3:16-18 (MSG)

Decisions and changes face me once again.  With these decisions come so many questions and very few answers.  The longer I go without direction and a concrete "I know this is exactly what God wants me to do" type of answer, the more impatience and frustration grow and the more persistent I become in demanding an answer.  I know God doesn't work that way nor does He cater to our demands.  I'm constantly reminded of Acts 17:24-25 and how God doesn't need us and then of Jeremiah 1:4-9 and how God has a plan for my life.  Despite what I know, this inner battle between "needing" answers versus faith always escalates until suddenly, everything stops as God speaks loud and clear once again:  will I let go of the timing, the plans, the details, the what-ifs, the fears in order to trust Him?  He's not asking me to do anything, be anything or accomplish anything...He's simply asking me to trust Him.

Even though I still lack "the answer" and have some hesitations, I keep getting the same response from God.  "Be still.  It's not about the answer right now, it's about the process."  It's about learning to be patient enough to seek Him instead of forge ahead with this decision and hope that He'll throw up huge red flags to tell me "no" if "yes" isn't the right answer.  It's about taking time to let the process run its course, about slowing down long enough to enjoy all the little discoveries along the way.

Last night, I ran across II Corinthians 3:16-18 and it showed me why God hasn't given me answers but rather many awesome discoveries.  These discoveries are not only laying a foundation for what lies ahead, but they are allowing me to experience the "living, personal presence" of God and see the work of His Spirit in a way I never have before.  Between coaching, mentoring, sweet friendships and the all the lessons God has been teaching me over the past year, everything is starting to really come together in powerful ways that allow me to see and experience God anew.

Through this process of seeking Him and only Him, I see how He is transforming my life, my attitudes and maturing my desires.  I'm seeing more of who He is and gaining a deeper understanding of what ministry is about.  I've also seen that it's not that I've had it wrong all of these years, but rather I've been living out the understanding I've had of Christ and of ministry at that time.  There is a constant progression from where I was 13 years ago when I first started getting my feet wet in church ministry to today but it totally corresponds to my relationship (and mainly, abiding time) with God.  As our understanding and relationship with God grow, the way we think, behave and lead follows suit.  And if it doesn't, I'm really seeing that it always traces back to to a lack of a consistent relationship with God. 

We can't be in God's presence without it affecting us ... "our lives gradually become brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become more like Him."  Because of that, I want to let go of all the questions and this quest for direction in exchange for His presence.  And I love the fact that that is enough! 


(lol...okay, Luann...I know this is something you've challenged me with several times over the past year--to stop seeking and just be in His presence....I finally understood what you were getting at!  Thank you!!) 

Standing or Stumbling?

"If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; but when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed."  Prov. 29:18 (MSG)

Many times as I read the Bible, verses jump out at me. They stick with me in the following days as God weaves portions of that verse (or theme) throughout my life.  But over time, those verses fade into the background as new ones emerge building on top of the things that God has shown me.

However, there have been a couple times in my life when a verse does more than jump out at me and it changes everything at that moment and every moment thereafter.  It's one of those things where this unusual power and striking meaning are so obvious and distinct that the only way to explain it is God.  The way the verses are read, received and understood leaves an imprint in my mind that will never be forgotten and will fuel my beliefs, ministry decisions and way of life.

My friends know the story behind Psalm 32:8 and how that has impacted my life.  And, although I've had other "verses-jumping-out-at-ya" experiences since then, none have been as powerful and life-changing until this spring when I ran across Proverbs 29:18 (see above) during a Wed. night service.

For most, it's just another verse; but for me, it brought everything together!  Actually, the first thing I wrote down was "circle lifeshape" (from Huddle/weare3dm.com) but the more the truth of that verse sank in, the larger it got!  The circle lifeshape is just the beginning...but this is the mindset that we should operate out of as leaders.  If we have it wrong, we lead wrong.  If we see ourselves, we're not seeing God.  If we see others, we're still not seeing God.  I've read this verse in a variety of translations and commentaries, and each time, the realities found in that verse change everything! 

Personal experience shows me that the secret to everything in life, in family, in ministry and in leadership is found in Proverbs 29:18 as much as it is found in Psalm 32:8.  If we're honest with ourselves, we know the times where we have seen and responded to what God is doing vs. stumbled all over ourselves by trying to do it ourselves (or half-ourselves/half-God, if you know what I mean).  We stumble when we lose moving toward God as our driving vision.  If God and His Word fail to be the focal points in our lives and ministries, we've already missed the mark from the get go. 

We also tend to stumble when we wait for others to catch up and join us.  We stumble when we believe others can tell us where we need to be and seek their opinions before God's.  We stumble when we slowly let go of the beliefs, character qualities and morals that we know to be pure, right, true, and just and rationalize the little compromises that come our way.  We stumble when we allow others to create divisions or when we dare to create divisions ourselves.  We stumble when we learn from every great leadership book yet the Bible still sits unopened on our desk (to get to later, of course).

We stumble when we remain in the dark and fail to see that we were never created to represent dark.  We stumble when we fail to lead from the inside-out--from God and His Word at the center of our being and letting Him overflow to every area of our life.  All the prayers and prep time in the Word that we do for ministry can keep us from seeing that we're running on fumes as we are still "doing" instead of finding personal rest and enjoyment in our relationship with God.  We have to faithfully be in the Word ourselves so we know God, what He is saying, where He is working and where we need to align ourselves in order to be with Him and reflect more of Him. 

Love the last part of the verse because it points out our responsibility and choice with "when they attend to what he reveals...".  Seeing what God reveals in His Word or seeing Him at work all around us is only half of the equation...responding to it makes it complete.  We can see all day long but seeing doesn't produce inner change...we have to act on the things that we see.  We can choose to obey or we can choose to keep doing our own thing...it's really as simple as that no matter how much we want to excuse it or complicate it. 

To see and to respond bring great blessings--the kind that come across in sweet relationships and in the joy, clarity and peace that come through responding to God and in turn, finding that God-rhythm to our lives. 

Leading Through the Derecho

There are many thoughts and reflections from the big derecho storm running through my mind that I can’t wait to express in the weeks ahead.  However, there is one overriding theme that stuck out from the storm -- the value and care of family.

On Saturday morning, after we realized the magnitude of the storm and that power wasn’t going to be restored any time soon, we had the opportunity to travel to my in-laws who had power and A/C.  I was torn about what do to.  Do we stay or do we go?  What if the myMISSION girls needed help?  But then what about my child who has a heat sensitivity (heat hives/rashes) and has all of his food allergies (some life-threatening) and what would we do if power was out long-term?  What would a "real leader" do in times like these?  Would they stay and try to "save the day" or would they lay that aside and take care of their family instead (which sometimes isn't as "glamorous")?  And, would the girls understand if I left town and wasn’t physically there during an uncertain time like this (ah, the lies Satan loves to plant in our minds...)?

I prayed for wisdom and felt God telling me to go, to care for my family first and to trust Him because He had everything under control.  As we began traveling down 29 through both counties in our Association, God gave me such peace about leaving town.  For all 28 names on the myMISSION roster (whether active or inactive), God reminded me that their parents, in-laws, siblings or close friends live nearby.  He reminded me of the strong family units that these girls had here and how that was one blessing of living in a rural area.

In our Association, families are so intertwined in their daily lives that when disaster strikes, it’s only natural for them to pull together and to take care of each other.  So, all of the myMISSION girls had somewhere to go, someone who would check on them, etc.  It was God’s way of telling me to let go, to learn from them and to care for my own family right now. 

While at my in-laws, my mother-in-law’s example and actions spoke louder than her words.  She welcomed us with open arms, enjoyed our presence and gave everything she had.  She allowed my son and I to stay with her a few extra days while my husband returned to work/home without power.  She made us feel like we had a home away from home.  If we were loud or messy or inconvenienced her, we never would have known for it was a true joy for her to have us in her home.

There were moments when I felt like I "should" be at home and available for the myMISSION girls in case they needed something.  Yet God quieted those thoughts and reminded me that I desperately needed this downtime to rest, to be ministered to and cared for by my mom-in-law, and to be there for my husband and son during this uncertain time.  To do anything different in this situation would have been disobedience.

Sometimes, being a leader means following God and leading your family even if it removes you from those you lead for a short time.  God was able to do more with my concerned prayers (and extra abiding time with Him) than if I was at home running around and trying to help Him out (Acts 17:24-25).

Happy Father's Day

Just as Proverbs 31 describes a godly woman, Psalm 112 describes a godly man.  It was a "checklist" I followed when I met "the one".  As we approach our 9th anniversary in a few months, I am thankful for this checklist.  If it weren't for this checklist, I wouldn't have the ministry partner in my husband that I have today. 

Psalm 112:1-8
Praise the Lord!
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
Who delights greatly in His commandments.
His descendants will be mighty on earth;
The generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches will be in his house,
And his righteousness endures forever.
Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness;
He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.
A good man deals graciously and lends;
He will guide his affairs with discretion.
Surely he will never be shaken;
The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance.
He will not be afraid of evil tidings;
His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is established;

Because my husband is like the righteous man described above, I can trust him to follow God's leading, to sense God's direction, to support God's call and to speak God's truth.  And, because of that, he isn't afraid to take over at home so I can go where God leads me.  He isn't afraid to be a dad, to embrace all the father/son bonding time (actually, they enjoy it a little too much when I am gone) and to protect our family from ministry.  He's not afraid to gently let me know when my priorities are shifting nor is he afraid to offer insight on areas he thinks I can be more effective or to advise me of people/situations that need extra caution.  Can't tell you how many times he has been right and how many times listening to him could have spared me headaches or heartaches. 

As we celebrate Father's Day this weekend, I'm thankful for a Psalm 112 man/dad.  His example is one that challenges me often especially as I see how "his heart is established."  As I reflect back over the 9 years of marriage, I can't help but see how God has put us together to learn how to serve one another, how to serve Him and how to serve others as a couple, as a family and as individuals.  There's something powerful, unified and uniquely special when your spouse sees the call of God on your life and his own role in that call and willingly sacrifices his life to follow God with you.

As I talk with mentors, they all talk about putting family first...some days it's easy to do, but most, it is not.  It's a continual struggle for me to keep my priorities in check.  However, as I remember Psalm 112 and the goodness of my husband, my love and appreciation for him deepens.  He reclaims priority as I remember how God designed us to minister together.  Today, God reminded me again of the pure, delightful gift that He has given me in my husband.  Love how He timed this much-needed reminder with Father's Day!  What a role model for me, what a role model for our son!