Get Out of the Churchy Bubble

Last Friday, another mass school shooting rocked our world.  As the days have passed by, media and America has increased its cry for something to be done.  Neither political party seems to have an answer and no "expert" on guns, education, and psychiatry can manage an intelligible answer except for "we need to have more conversations."

Do Americans not realize that we are wasting time by talking about the need to have conversations on the tough issues when we could simply start having these conversations?  The need was there long before last week...why weren't we talking then?  And what about those who have been trying to talk all along but their message hasn't been heard?  A knee-jerk response will create ineffective legislation which will hurt, label and probably tax more than help.  But then prolonging the conversations will make our instant-gratification society bored and quickly forget what is important and why.  

In talking, we must not forget the conversations within our churches.  Why not consider looking at what Christians have allowed our churches to become?  What are we doing to help the mentally ill aside from raising our eyebrows at their vulnerability when they admit that they are taking meds and later gossiping about them (via the "prayer request" method) as if we have never struggled with seasons of anxiety, depression or loneliness ourselves?  What are we doing to reach out to today's young adults aside from saying, "Yes, we want you in church!" but then fail to reach out to them outside of their own programming or give support beyond the Sunday or Wednesday service?  What are we doing to be voices in our community when we can't even find our own voices in our own churches to stand up against compromise, cliques and comfortable faith?

We have created this bubble that exists within our churches.  Within this bubble, we are comfortable and safe.  And, whoa!  Shame on the person who dares to speak up against that bubble!  I learned that the hard way this week as I made a FB comment about the shooter and then quickly deleted it after being reprimanded. 

We are the ones who have graded ours (and everyone else's) sins.  We are the ones who created standards and then rationalized them when we couldn't keep them ourselves.  We are the ones who have taken over God's decision on who is worthy of God's love and who is not!  We've fooled ourselves into thinking that we aren't that bad but in reality, we are all mere choices away from committing a heinous crime.  The only difference is that we are choosing Christ.  We have chosen to experience His mercy, forgiveness and grace! 

While we saw lostness in the worst way last week, I can’t help but see that God’s love still overshadows everything!  Are we supposed to ignore the fact that this shooter and every other criminal is made in God's image just like us?  That if that criminal accepted Christ, then he would be in heaven next to us?  That thought is a little nauseating, honestly.  And then I have to stop and listen to myself as I judge this man and hold him to what I think God wants while totally ignoring my own sins in the process.  Is not envy or gossip or failing to rest in the same Ten Commandments list as murder and adultery?  Did not the same God who fashioned me with His hands fashion that murderer with His hands also?  Did not the same God who sent His son to die on the cross die for that man as well?  Doesn't the Bible mention that God is not a respecter of persons so that means God offers mercy, love, forgiveness and judgment to everyone equally?  And that all of this comes down to personal choice?

What missions/ministry opportunities have been lost because we failed to see and love others as God does?  Please know that in no way am I condoning what happened last week, but I can't help but see a broken, lost young man--a man that, who knows, might have made a completely opposite choice had the Body of Christ stepped in and ministered to his family from the beginning.  This family might have made different choices had a Believer taken time to simply hear the desperate cries of this mother who was at her wits end.  Or, they might have been led to resources and/or connections to Christian professionals who believed in the power of prayer and in the power of God to transform lives. 

I look around me and see broken people everywhere...no one is exempt from brokenness.  How many times do I pretend not to see brokenness because I don't know what to say or do?  How many times have we wished that someone (even someone from our own churches) would step outside of Facebook and/or the Sunday services and be a real face, a real ear, a real hug or a real voice?  What if that was the one chance that would change the course of everything in that person’s life?  What if that was the one chance that could have prevented last week's deaths from happening?

After last week, we have got to pop that safe Christian bubble that we're in!  We have to go against the grain, have courage to leave our church cliques and man-made ideals behind and look at life through God’s eyes!  We also have to nurse the broken in our churches so we can nurse the broken outside of our churches. 

Yes, it’s uncomfortable, it's messy and it's real.  When we get beyond ourselves and see the heart of God yet fail to act, our lives become equally uncomfortable, messy and real as we make a blatant choice to ignore God and reap the consequences of it (been there, done that and it's not fun)! 

I keep sensing this urgency that we are missing the mark as the church and it's time to stop playing around, time to stop sitting in our comfy churchy bubbles and truly live out what the Bible says.  For those who already are, hope is around the corner and we have to stay the course and know Who we are looking at regardless of who is (or isn’t) walking alongside us!  It's tough and it's lonely sometimes, but keep hanging on!  

Shepherd-Like Faith

Every year, something new jumps out at me from the Christmas story giving Christmas a renewed meaning and application.  This year is no different as the shepherds come into view in Luke 2:15-18 and remind us what simple faith is all about!     

"So it was, when the angels had gone away from them into heaven, that the shepherds said to one another, "Let us now go into Bethlehem and see this thing that has come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us."  And they came with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in the manger.  Now when they had seen Him, they made widely known the saying which has told them concerning this Child.  And all those who heard it marveled at those things which were told them by the shepherds." 

Think about it...you're out in a field in the middle-of-nowhere, no street lights, no traffic, no airplanes overhead...just pure quietness interspersed with the sounds of nature.  Suddenly, massive brightness, holy chaos and talking angels appear out of nothingness!  I jump enough when my husband sneaks up behind me and scares me so I can't even imagine the pure adrenaline rush of that moment when the shepherds saw the angels and were immediately surrounded by God's glory ... terrified seems like an understatement! 

After the angels left, it's like the shepherds’ terror was replaced with surety and anticipation—a faith that something big had happened whether they understood the implications of it or not.  They didn't waste time analyzing what just happened, wondering if the angels spoke to the wrong guys, questioning if it really was from God, making pros and cons lists, researching other options, and seeking opinions from those outside of their group.  Instead, they had a sense of urgency that compelled them to leave straight for Bethlehem!

Seeing the face of Jesus had enough power and impact that, "Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about the child." (Luke 2:17, Message)  I wonder what made the greatest impression on the shepherds that night.  Was it the sheer glory and words of truth and hope that the angels spoke or was it seeing the baby in the manger or was it a combination of both?  Seriously, if five newborns born on the same night were placed side-by-side, what would make one baby stand out from another and cause me to exclaim, "Now, that’s Jesus!" especially if he looked like all the other babies?  Would I believe that one of those babies was Jesus without an angel intervention?  Would I still believe that one of those babies was Jesus with an angel intervention?  And, that's where faith comes in!

The shepherds in Luke 2:15-18 remind us that:

1. Faith is believing without doubt, vs. 15 (see also Mark 11:20-24 and Hebrews 11:6).
2. Faith really is for us, not only for those who we perceive to be better, more spiritual, more everything than us, vs. 15 (see also John 3:16-17, Acts 10:34-36 and Matthew 18:12-14).
3. Faith means believing that God has chosen you and has a distinct plan for your life, vs. 15 (see also I Corinthians 12:12-31, Ephesians 2:4-10 and Jeremiah 1:5). 
4. Faith requires going and following with haste, vs. 15-16 (see also Matthew 16:24-27, Matthew 19:20-21 and Hebrews 3:12-14). 
5. Faith in God alone is enough to turn our world upside down, vs. 17-18 (see also Matthew 9:20-22, Matthew 17:14-21 and Psalm 96). 

Sometimes, we overthink faith and make it way more complicated than what it should be.  The stripped-down version of faith is believing in God and that He desires us, speaks to us and wants us to see, follow and speak of Him.  When we see and experience God and then share that God-experience (big or small) with others, we are given a glimpse of what it must have been like for the shepherds on that first Christmas!  What excitement, joy, hope, awe and wonder can be found when we stop and consider what a shepherd-like experience might look like for us this Christmas! 

For Such a Time As This

(Time to finish the post that's been sitting in my draft box for a couple weeks...better late than never!)

"For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”  Esther 4:14

Over the past couple months, there have been several new "soul stirrings"...things that don't make sense but I know are part of something larger, something God wants to do but isn't yet named.

As the Presidential election came to a conclusion last night and while reading many insights from trusted Christian leaders, it brought together some of the hesitations and fears I've had about accepting a new ministry role in May with a time commitment that lasts the same length of this Presidency!  

One of my fleshly hesitations has been what happens if I'm in this role and the world literally falls apart?  Will I be able to keep it together personally in order to be a calming force, a leader that doesn't wimp out when life gets tough?  Will I be able to hang in there and encourage other women going through the same things or will I quickly retreat in fear?  Will I know my God enough and trust Him enough to continually point others to Him no matter what may unfold in this world?  Will my life be filled with this unquenchable joy that speaks only of God in the midst of chaos?  Then, I have to stop as I realize that I can't do this and who am I to even think I could do this?  Am I even ready for this kind of responsibility?

But, God instantly calms my heart with this surety that He is in control and that there's no need to worry.  He keeps showing me that the face of leadership is about to shift somewhat (crazy sounding, I know).  What was required of a leader today will be different four years from now.  Will I know what God wants or will I shove my head in the sand?   

As I look over the next four years of where God wants to place me as well as seeing the political state and leadership of America, I see where the definition of Christian/ministry leadership will go back to the most basic form in order for all of us to make it through these uncertain times together.  Programs, numbers, money will fade into the distance as leaders can't solidly rely on these things as they once could.  Priorities will change as those they lead need more hope and encouragement than ever before to make it through worldwide chaos more so than they need another ministry goal, committee meeting (where nothing is accomplished) or sugar-coated sermons.  Prayer will become forefront as people realize that prayer is about all they have left but then realize that being before God is where everything is at. 

Leadership will be about simplifying, getting rid of the clutter in our lives and in our churches and ministries and getting back to the very basics that we've lost underneath all the good that we have done.  It'll be about meeting needs right where we are at and putting legs to our faith rather than having more conversations about it and how to do it.  It'll be about the people once again without the distractions of objectives, initiatives or standards. 

Through the simplifying, we'll come to a point of true missional living where we see a picture much larger than ourselves.  What was once the focus in the beginning days of ministry will come back into clear view as we strip down to God's original two commandments in Matthew 26:36-38:  "Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’"  That is where changing the world, true missions and discipleship all take place! 

 While I'm hesitant about the next four years, I'm optimistic.  I keep thinking of Mordecai's words to Esther in Esther 4:14 and have to wonder if everything God has allowed me to go through, all the lessons He has taught me and all the people and resources along the way have been in preparation for such a time as this.  I can see patterns, specificity and purpose to so many things that God has done that all lead up to this point.  I see the women all around me and I'm excited, energized and ready.  Yet I also see the news, hear the prophecy sermons and raise my eyes over the cost of groceries and start to question as I know that where God is sending me goes beyond a missions organization and church life. 

I don't know what tomorrow brings nor do I feel I fully understand the role God is preparing me for as He keeps showing me different aspects to it.  It's taken a couple months, but God has led me to this point where I have a deep-seated peace that He is with me and will equip me in specific ways to best serve and encourage the women in my path through myMISSION PIEDMONT and Piedmont WMU ~ for such a time as this! 

Getting By in Blind Churches

(Disclaimer:  This post is a culmination of events not geared toward any one particular church, ministry, group or person. And leave it to God to really echo the things I've been reflecting on through one of the speakers at our Association Annual meeting on the first night--a much-needed breath of fresh air!) 

Are we as the church buying into a false illusion that because we hosted this neat community event or special church service with exciting activities and entertaining special guests that we have done all we can to impact our community and lead someone to Christ?  What happens when the church thinks they are doing outreach when, in reality, there is nothing outward about it except for a Facebook invite or open invitation in the newspaper?  And, what gives when a guest walks into the church or a church-sponsored event and no one makes personal contact with them (I Corinthians 13:1-7)?

How do we as the church continually fail to understand that whenever someone walks into our doors (or groups) that they are searching for something?  It could be salvation, but what if it's something as "simple" as a word of encouragement or a nugget of hope or a moment of shared friendship--something to help them through a dark time in their life, something to make sense of all the confusion, something to explain the unexpected blessings or provisions?

Over the past 1 1/2 years, I've had this unique experience of visiting and/or having contact with various churches and Christian groups throughout Virginia and in other states.  Though every visit and/or contact has been God-ordained and quite an adventure, a few churches have made an impression so deep that it seriously boggles my mind.  How can we as the church continually miss the obvious?  And if I, as a young woman who grew up in church/ministry, feel soooo out of place in church, what is it like for someone who has never experienced church? 

Not too long ago, we attended a church gathering quite a few miles away from here.  What was supposed to have been this "exciting, incredible, you can't miss it" gathering ended for us about ten minutes after we arrived as only one person in the sea of faces acknowledged our presence and made us feel wanted.  Many looked our way but quickly looked away so not to make eye contact at our questioning faces (we had no clue where to go or what to do/schedule, etc.).  We felt like total outsiders.  I kept thinking, what if we weren't Christians and received that same kind of response?  What in that situation would make us want to know more about Christ and about the church?  What would draw us back there?  Honestly, nothing.

Unfortunately, what happened at that gathering has been somewhat representative of this past year.  For all the good that churches do, there is still something lacking as we have become blinded to what we have become as the body of Christ.  That blindness keeps us from discovering what all God has in mind for the church.   

We fail to see the people because all we see is ourselves, our groups of friends, our familiarity.  We fail to see souls because we have become so immune to our own souls, devoid of a consistent relationship with God yet knowing exactly how to turn on and off that relationship when needed (especially when in Christian circles).

We fail to see that Christ is everything because we fill ourselves up with anything that looks good and then try to cram God into whatever room is left for Him.  We watch the same TV shows and movies, drink the same drinks, wear the same skimpy clothes (well, if we can fit into them), say the same "choice words" and have become so much like our world that we blend in just enough to get by.  But is getting by what God meant for us as His children?  Is getting by what God meant for the church?  No...not at all (I Corinthians 10:23-24)!  And, sadly, we are so blinded as Christians and as the church--if not by our traditions then by our culture (I Corinthians 8:9-13).

What's the cure?  But, then again, what's the point especially when so many in our churches don't even care (or care to the point of loyalty to man over God)?  Who has the courage to take a stand, to live consistently even if it means living differently so the world can see an unmuddled God (II Corinthians 3:17-18)?  The church as it is isn't working at 100%.

So since I can't just go out and change the church, the question becomes how can I be the change I want to see?  How can I best live out the church as God has shown me so that others can see Him and His direction and desire for the church?  How can I contribute to the church (II Corinthians 2:7-8)?  And in those churches that we go to where we would much rather get a speeding ticket than endure another moment there, how does God want us to respond aside from excusing ourselves out of there as fast as we can?  What kind of example is that setting for my family as well?  It gets a little personal when we put that kind of spin on it especially when we see where we contribute to the problem by not having the courage to do something about it.

...Just food for thought--take it for what it's worth! 

I Corinthians 13:1-7

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.  If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.  If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

I Corinthians 10:23-24

Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.

I Corinthians 8:9-13

But God does care when you use your freedom carelessly in a way that leads a fellow believer still vulnerable to those old associations to be thrown off track.  For instance, say you flaunt your freedom by going to a banquet thrown in honor of idols, where the main course is meat sacrificed to idols. Isn’t there great danger if someone still struggling over this issue, someone who looks up to you as knowledgeable and mature, sees you go into that banquet? The danger is that he will become terribly confused—maybe even to the point of getting mixed up himself in what his conscience tells him is wrong.  Christ gave up his life for that person. Wouldn’t you at least be willing to give up going to dinner for him—because, as you say, it doesn’t really make any difference? But it does make a difference if you hurt your friend terribly, risking his eternal ruin! When you hurt your friend, you hurt Christ. A free meal here and there isn’t worth it at the cost of even one of these “weak ones.” So, never go to these idol-tainted meals if there’s any chance it will trip up one of your brothers or sisters.

II Corinthians 3:17-18

Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.

II Corinthians 2:7-8

Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it. My counsel now is to pour on the love.

Persevering Through Paralyzing Life Lessons

My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.

Hebrews 12:5-11 (MSG)

Back in the winter, disappointment, frustration and impatience got the best of me as I reacted instead of prayed about a situation.  I vented out of pure emotion (in an email of all things) and it didn't stay confidential.  Though it sounds like a little thing and "we've all done that" at least once in our lives, it turned out to be costly in so many ways.  I doubt that it was as costly to those who received the email vent as it was to me personally.

It was one of those life lessons that showed me reality, humbled me in unspoken ways and thoroughly broke me so I could see myself as God sees me (the good, the bad and the ugly--especially the areas that were lacking Him).  It's probably been the most defining moment for me this year. 

Though many months have passed since "the email", the consequences have been just as powerful as they were the day it happened as pockets of division (in more than one relationship) and bitterness began to creep in.  And even though the months have been lined with consequences, "the email" brought many blessings that spoke so much to the extent of God's grace, the healing that comes through community and the strength that comes from finding our full identity in Christ.

There were days when this mistake paralyzed, distracted and haunted me as it was hard to recover from.  Every time I think I "got it" and learned all there was to learn from that situation, God would unearth something else until we finally reached the root of the issue.

It's been so tempting to give a cheesy excuse and walk away from it all because, face it, it's flat-out easier to do that than to deal with the issues.  Yet, deep down inside, I knew I needed this.  I needed to hit rock bottom in order to see where I was lacking.  I needed to see that God wanted way more than skill, creativity, strategy and forward movement (even if it was for Him).  I needed to see that ministry is all about love and working in harmony with others as the body of Christ.  And if we can't do that, then we have no right leading others toward Christ.  Because when love isn't at the root of any relationship, it's not reflecting Christ but ourselves (and that's a scary place to be in)! 

I've been praying a lot about whether or not to simply cease everything and spend a year learning what it means to simply love others out of Christ's love.  But, God's response continually leads me back to revisiting my leadership philosophy, operating out of that for awhile and then making a decision (which I finally figured out what what my coach meant by "leadership philosophy" and all it entailed...something I didn't grasp before "the email").  As God helps me live out that leadership philosophy, gradual shifts are occuring that speak of God's transformational love and second chances (or third chances, maybe fourth...lost count).   

Today of all days, months after all of this happened, I ran across Hebrews 12:5-11 (above) and everything that has been going on instantly made sense!  For months, I've allowed myself be totally crushed by God's disciplining because I failed to understand the intent of it.  As I look at all the lessons, challenges and consequences that resulted from "the email", I see where it really has been training all along!  It was purposeful, necessary yet loving all at the same time.  God was in the midst of training me to see Him as my Father.  And through seeing His Fatherly love and intent not only through these verses but in all the things we've been learning in our homeschool Bible class, I could finally let it all go.  And through the letting go, I've been able to truly live again resulting in this peaceful balance that speaks so much of Him. 

No, I don't have it all down and I still have moments where, ummmm, my mouth shows where love is lacking.  But, there are moments when I get it, when I see what God can do and wants to do long-term.  It's going to take work, perseverance and living life through the power of the Spirit to master these concepts. Encouragement to press on through this training is laid out in Hebrews 12:1-3. 

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Compared to the cross and what resulted from the cross, it's worth seeing discipline and training all the way through.   

(And KT, while the devotional you sent totally related to where I was at and it was so timely, it didn't fully click until Hebrews this morning where all sorts of connections were made!  As I wrote this blog, I kept thinking that all of this sounded vaguely familiar and then was reminded of you! ;)  Thank you for planting the seeds!)

The Honest Homeschooler

Thank you, Heather, for giving me the opportunity to share some insights from our first year of homeschooling!  You can read my guest blog post as well as many others from Heather as she shares about life as an author, wife, mother and homeschool teacher at Heather's blog. 

From Unraveled to Alive

"Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.

And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you’ve come out of this with purity of heart."

II Corinthians 7:10-12

A month ago, several things unexplainably unraveled.  Things didn't make sense but then they did.  I kinda knew who was behind it all and why--God was trying to pry open my hands once again.  It's hard to let some things go, but the things that we cling to the tightest are representative of something larger, something deeper that we don't want to let go of--the habits, attitudes, faults, beliefs, etc. that we'd rather just pretend didn't exist but somehow make their way out and permeate everything.

Through all of this "weirdness", I'm starting to really embrace it because, although painful at times, I see what it's doing and how it's bringing rhythm and redirection in several key areas.  Mainly, it's been a time of getting rid of all the mental, emotional and relational clutter and getting back to the basics ... faith in its simplest form!  And, there's no better place to see childlike faith than to experience it with my child.  So rather than recreate a new post, let me just copy a portion of an email I sent to my mentor the other day that sums up September 2012 perfectly: 

[My son's] new missions project w/Sonlight started today.  They are doing Phoenix Phaxx, a 13 yr old who explores 4-5 countries (mainly in Asia) and their religions (http://phoenixphaxx.com).  The kids are raising money to buy radios for Far East Broadcasting Company and Sonlight will match every dollar raised up to $150,000 so my child has already been doing odd jobs and extra chores to earn coins.  Today, he learned about Russia via the Phoenix Phaxx video and wow, I got the goosebumps listening to my son pray for Oksana...this girl in an orphanage who received a radio and accepted Christ thru a kid's program.  It still blows me away how God is taking these little desires of my heart and weaving them into homeschool (especially in developing a missional heart within my child)!

Last week, our history lessons were all focused on the first missionaries where we learned about St. Augustine, Boniface, St Patrick, Columba and Queen Margaret of Scotland and saw how everything all intertwined with the history we have been learning this month!  It adds a whole layer of depth to history when you see behind-the-scenes like that ... it's not just the Vikings, but rather the monks at Lindesfarne who were afraid that the Vikings would find their Gospel and/or it'd get burned and the lengths they went to protect it only for the Gospel to be lost at sea via a big storm.  However, it got washed up to shore, completely in tact and only a few pages wet, allowing it to be translated and preserved.  God's hand can be traced even waaaay back then.

And then as my child and I do Bible class every morning and read from Ergermeier's Bible Story Book, I'm seeing God in a whole new light.  He's a God who wanted His people to love Him.  He gave them soooo many chances to repent yet they continued on in their ways (been reading about Moses this month).  It's stuff I've heard all my life, but I still hold that childhood/conservative-college-girl-view that God is the Judge, He's hard to please, a God of do's and don't's and grace is something for Charismatics (and I sit here and wonder why consistency is so hard for me to maintain w/a God like that)!  But, that's not God at all....His judgments aren't randomly given without ample opportunity to turn to Him first.  All I see is mercy and grace where I've never seen it before...and all of this from my child's Kindergarten curriculum.

Then, I've been struggling a lot lately bcs I'm not "doing" anything missions-wise except for myMISSION.  Have had to put a couple ministries (and missions dreams) on hold when we started homeschooling (although I really hoped I could do it all).  But then I see where God is placing me within my community via homeschooling.  He is taking the past 9 years of being mere acquaintances with workers throughout our community and giving us opportunities to build real relationships with them through the "field trip" route or just through them wanting to know what exciting things we learned today.  We're seeing so many people outside of the church really rally around us as we homeschool our child ... they've watched my child grow up before their eyes and know the smiles he's brought to them in their check-out lines or in all of the meetings and they are so excited to have something to give back to him.  And my son's insights are so pure sometimes, so "it's God, so no explanation is needed" and definite that it takes people back sometimes (even me) and opens the door for more conversations. 

So, what if "doing" missions looks different in 2012 than it did back in 1980 when the women who tend to criticize myMISSION the most were raising their children?  Just seeing how "seasonal" and transitional 20s-30s are and seeing how having a school-aged child really does put you in another season of life (regardless of homeschooling or not).  And after really wrestling over this in prayer and just seeking God for what am I supposed to do, I see where He has put me right now as the biggest mission field regardless of who agrees or not.  There are all these little opportunities to have conversations and meet people that I've never met before that stems from homeschooling.  And, you can only imagine the conversations that occur when people find out that your child is homeschooled and that's why he's not "in school" right now.

Those that know me best know that when God lays something on my heart, the passion and belief I have in it comes across excitedly and sparks unique conversations.  Through that and just being in the moment rather than stressed out about the details of everything, I get the privilege of letting my child see and hear what missional living really means.  An older woman at the post office teared up last week when my child held the door open for her and said, "Hope you have a great day!" and then excitedly turns to me and asks, "Was I being God's little boy just now?"  It's the little things!!!  What is the point of missions if we're too busy trying to do all these big projects and chase after big ideas and neglect the little things, the here and now?

All of this because of a few unexplained unravelings ... I love the verse above because in the death of letting go, I have truly become alive!  It's affecting everything, even the way I lead.  I don't feel like my mind has to be myMISSION 24/7 yet I'm not shirking myMISSION either.  It's about living one moment at a time, doing a little planning ahead, but mainly just sitting back and letting things happen as they happen.  Am not used to leading that way at all, but it's a welcome change of pace!  There are moments when I feel like I need to be out there actively recruiting new women for our group, but then at the same time, the questions "Why?" and "When?" remind me that God has our group right where He wants it and that He is growing it in His time and in His way!  I have such peace about planting myMISSION seeds again this year rather than running ourselves ragged trying to do everything to attract young women.  Slowing the pace is good for us and removes a lot of the stress!  Am really looking forward to seeing what God does this year especially when it means sitting back and letting Him do all the leading and working and us simply following Him! 

Not About the Answer but the Process

"Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are--face-to-face!  They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone.  And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete.  We're free of it!  All of us!  Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of His face.  And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become more like Him."  II Cor. 3:16-18 (MSG)

Decisions and changes face me once again.  With these decisions come so many questions and very few answers.  The longer I go without direction and a concrete "I know this is exactly what God wants me to do" type of answer, the more impatience and frustration grow and the more persistent I become in demanding an answer.  I know God doesn't work that way nor does He cater to our demands.  I'm constantly reminded of Acts 17:24-25 and how God doesn't need us and then of Jeremiah 1:4-9 and how God has a plan for my life.  Despite what I know, this inner battle between "needing" answers versus faith always escalates until suddenly, everything stops as God speaks loud and clear once again:  will I let go of the timing, the plans, the details, the what-ifs, the fears in order to trust Him?  He's not asking me to do anything, be anything or accomplish anything...He's simply asking me to trust Him.

Even though I still lack "the answer" and have some hesitations, I keep getting the same response from God.  "Be still.  It's not about the answer right now, it's about the process."  It's about learning to be patient enough to seek Him instead of forge ahead with this decision and hope that He'll throw up huge red flags to tell me "no" if "yes" isn't the right answer.  It's about taking time to let the process run its course, about slowing down long enough to enjoy all the little discoveries along the way.

Last night, I ran across II Corinthians 3:16-18 and it showed me why God hasn't given me answers but rather many awesome discoveries.  These discoveries are not only laying a foundation for what lies ahead, but they are allowing me to experience the "living, personal presence" of God and see the work of His Spirit in a way I never have before.  Between coaching, mentoring, sweet friendships and the all the lessons God has been teaching me over the past year, everything is starting to really come together in powerful ways that allow me to see and experience God anew.

Through this process of seeking Him and only Him, I see how He is transforming my life, my attitudes and maturing my desires.  I'm seeing more of who He is and gaining a deeper understanding of what ministry is about.  I've also seen that it's not that I've had it wrong all of these years, but rather I've been living out the understanding I've had of Christ and of ministry at that time.  There is a constant progression from where I was 13 years ago when I first started getting my feet wet in church ministry to today but it totally corresponds to my relationship (and mainly, abiding time) with God.  As our understanding and relationship with God grow, the way we think, behave and lead follows suit.  And if it doesn't, I'm really seeing that it always traces back to to a lack of a consistent relationship with God. 

We can't be in God's presence without it affecting us ... "our lives gradually become brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become more like Him."  Because of that, I want to let go of all the questions and this quest for direction in exchange for His presence.  And I love the fact that that is enough! 


(lol...okay, Luann...I know this is something you've challenged me with several times over the past year--to stop seeking and just be in His presence....I finally understood what you were getting at!  Thank you!!) 

Beating Down Closed Doors

Tonight is one of those nights when I wake up and suddenly realize where I'm at.  I'm standing here knocking once again on a tightly closed door.  It's a door that has been closed for awhile.  However, I find myself cycling back around, knocking once again, just hoping someone will answer because I believe that what is behind this door is helpful, inspiring, exciting and filled with new opportunities to serve God. 

But as I stand outside this door, I peer through the window and see things going on behind the door that make me question, make me hesitate and make me wonder if it's where God can use me best.  I feel unrest, confusion and frustration every time I get a glimpse of what is behind that door.  Yet, I still stand here...knocking, hoping and watching many others walk right through this door as it's wide open to them.

There comes a point when I have to wonder how many times a person can knock on a door and it still remains closed.  Common sense would say to move on...that this isn't my door.  Yet, my feet are still here and my hand is still reaching up to knock thinking that what is behind this door somehow holds the answer to what God wants me to do. 

Yet, on the outside of this door as I watch others walking through it tonight, it suddenly hits me...what am I still doing here???  Why am I knocking on this closed door again?  When will I get a clue that this isn't my door?  When will I understand that God has something different for me?  When will I stop knocking and start trusting...trusting that I don't need this door to fulfill God's plan for my life?  What if this door is meant to steer me into something more, something tailor-made that doesn't fit the mold (kind of like everything else God has done for me)?  And, when did I even start caring about fitting the mold anyway? 

Yet I'm still here, still knocking, still hesitant to fully embrace all that God has outside that door; hesitant to take the first steps away because I know what it will cost.  I stand here still scared to let this door go because I think I "need" it when in reality I need God waaaaay more than I will ever need this door.  The door makes sense, it's logical and I know what's behind that door--it's familiar and safe and I know I can navigate it...it's everything opposite of following God. 

Yet, God doesn't need opened and closed doors...He just needs people who are willing to turn their backs on these doors and simply follow Him.  Can I stop knocking long enough in order to let go and simply and blindly follow Him? 

Standing or Stumbling?

"If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; but when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed."  Prov. 29:18 (MSG)

Many times as I read the Bible, verses jump out at me. They stick with me in the following days as God weaves portions of that verse (or theme) throughout my life.  But over time, those verses fade into the background as new ones emerge building on top of the things that God has shown me.

However, there have been a couple times in my life when a verse does more than jump out at me and it changes everything at that moment and every moment thereafter.  It's one of those things where this unusual power and striking meaning are so obvious and distinct that the only way to explain it is God.  The way the verses are read, received and understood leaves an imprint in my mind that will never be forgotten and will fuel my beliefs, ministry decisions and way of life.

My friends know the story behind Psalm 32:8 and how that has impacted my life.  And, although I've had other "verses-jumping-out-at-ya" experiences since then, none have been as powerful and life-changing until this spring when I ran across Proverbs 29:18 (see above) during a Wed. night service.

For most, it's just another verse; but for me, it brought everything together!  Actually, the first thing I wrote down was "circle lifeshape" (from Huddle/weare3dm.com) but the more the truth of that verse sank in, the larger it got!  The circle lifeshape is just the beginning...but this is the mindset that we should operate out of as leaders.  If we have it wrong, we lead wrong.  If we see ourselves, we're not seeing God.  If we see others, we're still not seeing God.  I've read this verse in a variety of translations and commentaries, and each time, the realities found in that verse change everything! 

Personal experience shows me that the secret to everything in life, in family, in ministry and in leadership is found in Proverbs 29:18 as much as it is found in Psalm 32:8.  If we're honest with ourselves, we know the times where we have seen and responded to what God is doing vs. stumbled all over ourselves by trying to do it ourselves (or half-ourselves/half-God, if you know what I mean).  We stumble when we lose moving toward God as our driving vision.  If God and His Word fail to be the focal points in our lives and ministries, we've already missed the mark from the get go. 

We also tend to stumble when we wait for others to catch up and join us.  We stumble when we believe others can tell us where we need to be and seek their opinions before God's.  We stumble when we slowly let go of the beliefs, character qualities and morals that we know to be pure, right, true, and just and rationalize the little compromises that come our way.  We stumble when we allow others to create divisions or when we dare to create divisions ourselves.  We stumble when we learn from every great leadership book yet the Bible still sits unopened on our desk (to get to later, of course).

We stumble when we remain in the dark and fail to see that we were never created to represent dark.  We stumble when we fail to lead from the inside-out--from God and His Word at the center of our being and letting Him overflow to every area of our life.  All the prayers and prep time in the Word that we do for ministry can keep us from seeing that we're running on fumes as we are still "doing" instead of finding personal rest and enjoyment in our relationship with God.  We have to faithfully be in the Word ourselves so we know God, what He is saying, where He is working and where we need to align ourselves in order to be with Him and reflect more of Him. 

Love the last part of the verse because it points out our responsibility and choice with "when they attend to what he reveals...".  Seeing what God reveals in His Word or seeing Him at work all around us is only half of the equation...responding to it makes it complete.  We can see all day long but seeing doesn't produce inner change...we have to act on the things that we see.  We can choose to obey or we can choose to keep doing our own thing...it's really as simple as that no matter how much we want to excuse it or complicate it. 

To see and to respond bring great blessings--the kind that come across in sweet relationships and in the joy, clarity and peace that come through responding to God and in turn, finding that God-rhythm to our lives. 

The Great Speech Dilemma

“A fool lets it all hang out; a sage quietly mulls it over.  When a leader listens to malicious gossip, all the workers get infected with evil.”  Proverbs 29:11-12

 

So many leadership books, so little time.  However, no leadership book is as insightful, thorough, powerful, challenging, convicting and directing as Proverbs.  For extra “umph”, try Proverbs in “The Message” translation!  Sometimes I wonder why I’m so determined to read all these other leadership books and fail to give time and attention to the Bible.  Everything I want in a leadership book is spelled out in Proverbs. 

Proverbs has a way of taking what seems complicated and breaking it down in simple format, black and white, that you just can’t miss what makes and breaks a leader.  I find it interesting that guarding your speech is one of the top reoccurring themes in Proverbs.  It’s also one of the top reoccurring themes in my life as I speak with women and listen to women. 

I tend to rationalize my speech quite often by thinking that everyone vents, everyone gossips, everyone says what’s on their mind (good and bad), and sometimes you just have to get things off your chest.  But through Proverbs I see over and over again that God wants more from His leaders.  He has a clear path already set out for us that isn’t marked with holes that we dug for ourselves nor is it lined with words that reveal our immaturity, insecurity or irrationality.

Proverbs 29:11-12 (above) is one of those verses that gets me every time I read it as I have seen where my speech has affected those around me and not always for the positive.  And I have also seen where speech from other leaders has permeated through the ranks and affected the spirit of those under them.  As I listen to others, it reminds me of myself and I pray that I do not sound like that, but sadly, I know I do at times.  

As a leader, do we even understand how much influence our words carry and how quickly it can discredit ourselves and our ministries? 

Are our opinions being taken as fact by the listeners when in reality it’s our own faulty interpretations coming across?

Are we silently giving others permission to share information without considering if it’s right or wrong before we pass it along? 

Where do we draw the line between sharing information about a situation with those we lead versus gossip?  And then how do we participate in those conversations with other leaders without crossing that line?

 

What kind of leadership are we promoting if we participate in conversations that aren’t edifying about others?  

 

Finally, as women leaders, how do we rise above gossip in the realm of women’s ministry whether big or small?  

Tough questions, yet even tougher to keep our mouths shut!  However, as tough as it is to be the quiet one, we can be encouraged by Proverbs 31:26:  “When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.”  The same God who fashioned the Proverbs 31 woman fashioned us and just as she is an example, we can be one, too!  It's not impossible, it's just going to take some work!  ;-)

Who I Really Am

I never realized how powerful and foundational the answer to the question, "Who Am I?" was until this year.  Before April 2011, I thought I knew who I was but it wasn't until God led me to myMISSION PIEDMONT that all of that was challenged and is still being challenged through a creative and detailed chain of events that only God could arrange.  When God wants you to know Him and for you to truly understand what He thinks about you, He is persistent and patient in helping you become aware of who you are in Him and who He created you to be (well, that is, once you give Him the green light to proceed).

It didn't reallly click until tonight that God started this journey of discovering who I am through the first promise He gave me after I said yes to serving in our Association--Jeremiah 1:5-9a.  Through this verse, God began planting seeds that maybe there is something bigger at play, that this isn't random or because no one else wanted to do this, but He has a definite plan and I am part of it. 

Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying:  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”  Then said I:  “Ah, Lord God!  Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth.”  But the Lord said to me:  “Do not say, ‘I am a youth,’ For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak.  Do not be afraid of their faces, For I am with you to deliver you,” says the Lord. Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me: "Behold, I have put My words in your mouth..."

A few months after that, we began our first myMISSION Bible study which dealt with our identity and the lies and truths that we believe about ourselves.  It's where I first noticed that I had an onion that needed to be peeled.  As the first couple of layers came off, I started to see things that I had never seen before.  Well, nevermind, I assumed that God could leave that onion alone and work around it and keep using me "as is".  My thoughts were that I'd eventually mature and life would go on and God would show me new things, so I really wouldn't have to peel that onion, right?!  But, it just doesn't work that way (attempt #143 to work around the onion should've been the first clue)! 

It was time to face the truth that knowing who I am in Christ is foundational to leadership.  If I don't know who I am, what I believe in and Who I am following (God), I will continually miss the mark as a leader, wife and mom.  This is where ministry (and even family) becomes diminished as my focus becomes more on trying to do everything, do it perfectly and please everyone in the process.  It then becomes a Galatians 1:10 question!

Needless to say, God impressed this lesson upon my heart numerous times through having my leadership coach echo the same thing above to reading "The Shack" to our second myMISSION Bible study (which took identity a step further and required actions like forgiveness, boldness in standing up for yourself, etc.) to mentors bringing up the whole identity piece and now back to another book, "Search for Significance".  Then, to top it off, random songs on the radio to sermons to conversations with friends always went back to identity.  

I have peeled back many layers to this identity onion. Every time I think I've got it, I realize that there is still more hiding underneath!  It's been an incredible journey of self-discovery and of God-discovery.  It's been one of the most exciting, challenging, painful, humble, joyful and rewarding journeys that I have ever taken with God.  The awesome part is that it's not over yet!  There is still a lot left to internalize as I learn to make God my default and truth.  There are speechless moments when God gives me reminders of where we were last year on this journey and where we are today!  Those reminders combined with His Word give me the hope necessary to persevere on this journey! 

Through this journey, I've learned many things about myself that have made me say, "Ah-Ha!!!!  So that is why...!"  

• Apostle / Prophet (3DM/Pentagon lifeshape) 
• INTJ (Myers-Briggs)
• Focus, Achiever, Intellection, Command, Strategic (From "Now Discover Your Strengths") 
•  Achiever, Strategic, Input, Restorative, Intellection (From "Living Your Strengths")

These are things that are wired within me that I didn't understand.  Actually, these are things I've considered my weaknesses all my life as they have continually compelled me to move forward with God in new areas, ministries and ways never putting down roots.  Yet learning about the fivefold ministry purposes brought it all together and opened a new door to freedom, possibility and opportunity as it allows me to unashamedly embrace what God is doing rather than fight against it.

When I take these things and compare them with all that God has done in and with my life and my family over the past 12 years, I see the truths in Jeremiah 1:5-9a ever so clearly!

But the best part is that even if I didn't have the above strengths and my only strength was to flip the TV remote all day long (bad example, I know...can't think of anything better at the moment), God still cares about me!  Justification, reconciliation, propitiation and regeneration are still for me!  The cross is still for me!  Nothing and no one (including myself) can change that, discredit that, lessen that or take that away from me.  

I am "deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted and complete in Christ!"  And to me, that is ever healing, freeing and life-giving.  Everything else fades into the background compared to that!  Wow! 

Choices @ the Crossroad

Have there ever been moments in your life when you find yourself wondering how in the world you got things so wrong?  Or, you had promise and potential yet somewhere along the line, as you listened to others, you lost your ability to follow God on your own?  Or, you had an initial vision and goals yet they fell by the wayside as details and challenges clouded your view?  Or, you were on the right track and later experienced a couple failures and though long gone, they still keep you trapped in discouragement and defeat?  Or, you find yourself caving under all the stress and pressure only to realize that most of it is self-made and rooted in insecurity?  Or, you find that you've built this safe little life around the feel-good side of Christianity which keeps you from risking it all and believing it all? 

When you find yourself in those places, it's usually a wake-up call or it's where you call it quits.  It's a chance to reclaim God's promises and dare to go to the places He has set before you or it's a chance to hang on to what you know works and is safe thereby forfeiting serious Kingdom impact.  And regardless of what spot you find yourself in, you are at pure crossroads and a choice must be made.  Sure, you can work around making a choice as long as you can, but the longer you fight it, the heavier and more pressing it becomes.

You can only sweep so much under the carpet before it gets noticeably lumpy.  You can only stuff so much into the closet before the door won't shut tight any more.  And you can say you're "fine" as much as you want but the weight on your shoulders, shallow smile and pensive stares betray you. 

The only way through is to make a choice.

What will it be? 

"And Israel, who seemed so interested in reading and talking about what God was doing, missed it. How could they miss it? Because instead of trusting God, they took over. They were absorbed in what they themselves were doing. They were so absorbed in their "God projects" that they didn't notice God right in front of them, like a huge rock in the middle of the road. And so they stumbled into him and went sprawling." ~Romans 9:31-32 (Message)

Have We Lost Our Ability to Be Self-Sufficient?

Though it's been a few weeks since the derecho (the big wind storm) in Central Virginia, life has returned back to normal.  The power is on, phones are working, air conditioners are running and freezers are stocked back up.  Yet as I drive through the county, downed trees and limbs dangling precariously over power lines constantly remind me that it won’t take much to put us back in the dark again.  Am I prepared for the next time? 

One of the biggest questions that kept coming to mind in the days following the storm was, "Have we lost our ability to be self-sufficient by being too self-sufficient?"  That question packs a punch as it can be viewed from many different angles.  And to back it up, I had to smile when I looked up "self-sufficient" at merriam-webster.com and saw how they broke it up into two parts (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-sufficient):

1 : able to maintain oneself or itself without outside aid : capable of providing for one's own needs
2 : having an extreme confidence in one's own ability or worth

So, the question becomes, "Have we lost our ability to 'provide for [our] own needs" by 'having extreme confidence in [our] own ability or worth'?"

As a society, have we been so comfortable that we have forgotten what it's like to be uncomfortable?

Have we been so confident in our luxuries that we freak when we experience inconvenience and find ourselves hot and sweaty (and not because of our workouts)? 

Have we failed to prepare because tragedy doesn't happen here, it happens elsewhere? 

Have we relied so much on convenience that we lost our ingenuity and resourcefulness? 

Have we become so caught up in our own corners of the world that we don't know how to extend and even receive invitations and offers for help and relief? 

I was amazed to watch the fallout of the storm via Facebook, Twitter and blogs. Everyone was thinking the power would be out just a couple days but once it extended past Days 2 and 3, Facebook statuses became frustrated.  Another day out, anger.  Another day out, desperation.  Another day out, despair.  When the power came back on, life resumed as normal and not much has been said about it ever since. 

Through technology, I watched friends offer other friends invitations to come over for showers, relief from the heat and a good meal. But I also repeatedly witnessed these same friends turning down invitations and later complaining on Facebook about their plight. 

Help was offered yet it wasn't accepted, why? 

Has it become easier to complain about our circumstance on Facebook than it is to do something about it? 

Does it seem more status-worthy to tough it out than it does to accept an invitation? 

Are we more comfortable talking through our technology at each other than be in the same room talking with each other? 

This storm brought about a great chance for observation, a chance to see my generation in action when life is interrupted.  Sometimes, it bothers me what I see within my generation.  But then I have to turn it around and look at myself before I can say too much. 

What did my own Facebook statuses reveal during that time? 

Did I make the most of the chances to impart encouragement and hope to those who were stuck back home without power while we waited it out at my in-laws? 

How can I model healthy self-sufficiency for others yet also be the one to have enough to extend invitations for help and relief to others at the same time? 

Then, I can't help but look at the spiritual application--have we lost our ability to be self-sufficient by being too self-sufficient? 

Have we lost our ability to connect with God, seek Him and make Him the center of our lives by silently demanding control of our lives through our over-filled calendars and our attempts to make life happen how we want it to happen? 

Have we reduced our faith to something that we use whenever hard times hit or leave God in the background until we suddenly need something? 

Have we traded in our ability to change the world for discontent because we want more than the little assignments that God has given us today, failing to realize that Luke 16:10 holds one of the greatest truths to impacting our world? 

And, trust me, this is just the beginning of all the questions that the derecho brought to my mind!  Weeks later and my mind is still a jumbled mess as I reflect, pray and figure out “how do I become a light in my generation?”  Because “derecho” is the Spanish word for “straight”, I find it so fitting that God would purposefully choose to answer that question with Proverbs 4:25-27:  "Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions.  Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you.  Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust." (MSG) 

Such truth is found in these verses as it reminds me that we need to be self-sufficient enough to realize that storms will come and go and it's how we walk through them that will either shine Light (Christ) or darkness (the world) to my generation.

Leading Through the Derecho

There are many thoughts and reflections from the big derecho storm running through my mind that I can’t wait to express in the weeks ahead.  However, there is one overriding theme that stuck out from the storm -- the value and care of family.

On Saturday morning, after we realized the magnitude of the storm and that power wasn’t going to be restored any time soon, we had the opportunity to travel to my in-laws who had power and A/C.  I was torn about what do to.  Do we stay or do we go?  What if the myMISSION girls needed help?  But then what about my child who has a heat sensitivity (heat hives/rashes) and has all of his food allergies (some life-threatening) and what would we do if power was out long-term?  What would a "real leader" do in times like these?  Would they stay and try to "save the day" or would they lay that aside and take care of their family instead (which sometimes isn't as "glamorous")?  And, would the girls understand if I left town and wasn’t physically there during an uncertain time like this (ah, the lies Satan loves to plant in our minds...)?

I prayed for wisdom and felt God telling me to go, to care for my family first and to trust Him because He had everything under control.  As we began traveling down 29 through both counties in our Association, God gave me such peace about leaving town.  For all 28 names on the myMISSION roster (whether active or inactive), God reminded me that their parents, in-laws, siblings or close friends live nearby.  He reminded me of the strong family units that these girls had here and how that was one blessing of living in a rural area.

In our Association, families are so intertwined in their daily lives that when disaster strikes, it’s only natural for them to pull together and to take care of each other.  So, all of the myMISSION girls had somewhere to go, someone who would check on them, etc.  It was God’s way of telling me to let go, to learn from them and to care for my own family right now. 

While at my in-laws, my mother-in-law’s example and actions spoke louder than her words.  She welcomed us with open arms, enjoyed our presence and gave everything she had.  She allowed my son and I to stay with her a few extra days while my husband returned to work/home without power.  She made us feel like we had a home away from home.  If we were loud or messy or inconvenienced her, we never would have known for it was a true joy for her to have us in her home.

There were moments when I felt like I "should" be at home and available for the myMISSION girls in case they needed something.  Yet God quieted those thoughts and reminded me that I desperately needed this downtime to rest, to be ministered to and cared for by my mom-in-law, and to be there for my husband and son during this uncertain time.  To do anything different in this situation would have been disobedience.

Sometimes, being a leader means following God and leading your family even if it removes you from those you lead for a short time.  God was able to do more with my concerned prayers (and extra abiding time with Him) than if I was at home running around and trying to help Him out (Acts 17:24-25).

Man's or God's? You pick!

"And now I say to you, keep away from these men and let them alone; for if this plan or this work is of men, it will come to nothing; but if it is of God, you cannot overthrow it--lest you even be found to fight against God."  Acts 5:38-39   The Message translation says, "...If this program or this work is merely human, it will fall apart, but if it is of God, there is nothing you can do about it--you better not be found fighting against God."

This verse jumped out at me a few months ago as I was torn between two different paths to take with myMISSION.  Do we wait around for things to happen and wait for others to catch up or do we forge our own path, leaving behind what many (including myself) wanted to see happen and go a little independent of organizational structure?

There was so much confusion, apprehension and inner turmoil over what was supposed to have been the logical direction to take and one that I thought would totally benefit both the organization and myMISSION PIEDMONT.  During this time, God also brought I Corinthians 14:33 to mind:  "For God is not the author of confusion but of peace...."

These two verses were instrumental in getting me to stop and take a breath.  Confusion was becoming my constant state of life that distracted me from what God called me to do.  And honestly, nothing productive came from that time (both personally and in ministry), and it's time we'll never get back. 

These verses forced me to make decisions that were hard to make and even harder to let go of (and I’m still working through that).  These verses also reminded me that myMISSION PIEDMONT is God's work, not mine and not the leadership team’s.  When I am in sync with God and when the leadership team is in sync with God, myMISSION is inevitably in sync with God, too, because our leadership and decisions are rooted in Him, not in ourselves and in our own ideas. 

Being a leader is a scary responsibility.  One careless, thoughtless, selfish decision/word/action can ruin our ministry and influence in an instant (sorry, but it's the hard truth)!  Leadership requires being mindful that a decision isn't just a decision and the impact of it can be far-reaching.  It’s hard to be mindful in the busyness, planning and relationship building that naturally come with a leadership role. 

If you look at Acts 5:38-39 in relation to your ministry, I'm sure you can think of moments when decisions were made from man (aka yourself) vs. made from God.  We can recall moments when we want to cringe because we know the motivation behind some decisions.  Yet, we can also recall many more moments when God flowed through and it was evident to all that He was in His work. 

These two verses challenge us to make sure that wherever God sends us, it is of Him and that it remains in Him.  When things start getting complicated and confusing, it's an indication that we need to stop and see where our focus is (and how close to being “overthrown” we are). 

When it's honestly God's work and when we can remove ourselves from it, God can work around man's roadblocks.  He changes a "no" into "yes" and opens closed doors according to what works best for His plan.  And, the best part is that He usually does it in the most roundabout, amazing and speechless ways that speak so loudly of Him that all the glory goes straight back to Him!  It's comforting and reassuring that this is His work and it will stand as long as He is in it!

Creating a Leadership Team – Part II

During our first leadership team meeting, we covered the expectations of our leadership team.  The eight expectations of the leadership team were to:

• Support (myMISSION PIEDMONT/WMU, each other)
• Assist (carry out events, do whatever necessary to make mMP work)
• Promote (share with church/friends, post flyers, internet, etc.)
• Attend (meetings and events--including set-up/clean-up)
• Plan (contribute, create, prepare, etc.)
• Pray (that's self-explanatory)
• Share (opinions, feedback, prayer requests, etc.)
• Grow (as a leader, as a team and as a Christian)

Looking back, it never crossed my mind that this might be too much to expect from a team.  I saw the potential in these young women and believed so much in what God called us to do that anything less wouldn't get us where God wanted us to go.  However, this might not be the right approach for your group!  Pray about it and God will show you what is and isn't realistic to expect from your team.

For us, high commitment was foundational for those early days and it's something that my team is capable of.  Somewhere along the line, there was a transition from high-commitment simply because it was part of being on the team to high-commitment because they saw God working through them and through myMISSION.  I'm so thankful for our team and that they saw the vision.  It truly was God that put our team together because He allowed them to see what I couldn't express at that time and gave them the gumption to stick with it.  Looking back, that really was a lot to ask of them especially when I didn't even know them (what is it they say? Hindsight is 20/20?).

At the first myMISSION PIEDMONT leadership team meeting, the team filled out a “Leadership Team Profile” which asked for their basic contact info, birthday info, some fun facts about them (gift bag ideas for later use), and then asked them to answer the following questions:

• What is your spiritual gift?  (Leave blank if unsure.) 
• What special skills or talents do you bring with you to myMISSION PIEDMONT? 
• What are your ministry passions and/or favorite ways to share God’s love with others?
• What is something you are interested in learning or developing through this leadership team experience (can be something personal, leadership, church, WMU related, etc.)?
• Are you willing to make a commitment to being on the leadership team, praying for myMISSION PIEDMONT, assisting as you can and doing your best to attend all leadership team meetings and training sessions throughout the year?
• What are the best days/times for you to meet?

Every myMISSION group is going to have its own dynamic.  For some, a leadership team might not be necessary.  For others, a leadership team would be helpful so all the organization and planning doesn’t rest on your shoulders.  For us, it was about involving other young women because I won’t be in my 30s forever and saw the need to bring younger women along so they can keep WMU and myMISSION going long after my 35th birthday.  I wanted to give them a chance to experiment with new things, a chance to learn through practical experience and a chance to see where God can take us whenever we are open to Him.  Besides, it's way more fun doing myMISSION as team than alone!  These are friendships that will last a lifetime!

For more on the myMISSION PIEDMONT leadership team, read “MoreThan a Leadership Team”.

Creating a Leadership Team – Part I

Pulling together the right leadership team is one of the hardest things you will do with your myMISSION group.  As in anything, it requires a lot of prayer, time and patience. 

It also requires following God's promptings even when it might not make sense.  There were moments when I felt God put this team together more for my benefit than theirs.  The underlying dynamics have been instrumental in teaching me how to let go of control (is it preference or procedure and 99.9% of the time, it's preference...this is still a lesson in progress). 

Like any team, our team is made up of individuals who bring their own personalities, talents, skills, insights, opinions, emotions, leadership styles and leadership maturity to the table.  This make us a well-rounded team as we see things from different angles and bring our uniqueness to the table.  Through expressing their opinions and sometimes challenging my ideas, the team has kept me from jumping into things and/or slowing the down the pace in order to wait and see how things play out.  I’m very thankful that they feel comfortable enough to speak up and play an active role in myMISSION PIEDMONT. 

When we first started myMISSION in May 2011, the leadership team looked different than it did two months later in July 2011.  When I first started calling young women in our Association, I had a vision, a bare-bones structure to present to these women and this hope that they would catch the vision and be willing to partner with God and our Association on this journey.  It was important to me to leave the details "bare-bones" as this wasn't "my" group...it was for the young women in our Association and it was vital to give them the opportunity to make it theirs and give them ownership of myMISSION. 

As I called many young women, some were ready to roll up their sleeves and get to work that day, others wanted time to pray over it and others weren't interested in leading but were interested in participating once the group was formed.  There was a 4-6 week gap between these calls and our first leadership team meeting.  So, by the time we had our first leadership team meeting, God pared down the list of names even more.  Some young women didn't return calls/multiple voice mails and emails.  Others couldn't coordinate their calendars and that spoke volumes as far as their availability to be on the team as I knew high-commitment would be vital to getting myMISSION PIEDMONT off the ground. 

My philosophy has always been that if someone sees the value in something and really wants it, they will make the time for it, and myMISSION PIEDMONT was no different.  Sometimes though, it takes trial and error to put together the right team.  Yet, I’ve had to back off of my "philosophy" a little as I realized that clearly communicating your vision is a "must" for any leader.  That vision and passion for what God is doing and wants to do is what initially captures people and draws them in especially when you don't have a personal relationship with them beforehand.

It’s Not All About Connections

One of the most conflicting areas of ministry for me has been the importance of networking.  It’s something that is helpful as you build a list of contacts for info, a sounding board, project partners, prayer, support and basic ministry resources.  And, it’s great for seeing new perspectives and seeing what is going on beyond your world.  There are many benefits to networking but I've come to the conclusion that networking for ministry and networking for business are two different things.

Over the past year, I’ve been introduced to many men and women in all types of church/ministry leadership positions.  It’s intimidating at times as I realize how little I know in light of their expertise and wisdom.  Yet it’s eye-opening as I realize how much it’s still about who you know in church life. 

I’ve always believed that when God has a plan in mind for you, He will make it happen.  He will put the right people in your path, orchestrate the right circumstances and He will guide you where He wants you.  It’s not something you have to stress over and force because God has already done the work for you (I Corinthians 14:33).

Lately, there have been some really awkward and embarrassing situations where I’ve met people because they were recommended to me as a potential resource and/or connection.  Honestly, I don’t know why I’m meeting them except that they were referred to me as good people to meet (and they really are good people to meet).  Yet in these awkward encounters, it feels so forced, it’s not “me” nor is it the first impression I want them to have of me and more importantly of God and of myMISSION.  In the middle of situations like these, I’m left questioning what in the world I’m doing and where is the leader within me as my insecurities take over. 

During a recent introduction and awkward five minute conversation that followed, it hit me that this is not where I need to be.  God has entrusted young women in my care to love and to serve.  It’s about them, not about who I know or need to know or who could help me grow.  God has already taken care of that!  And for the past 14 months, in His time (not mine), God placed key people in my life and opened doors that I didn’t have to force open.

Ministry isn’t about who you know, it’s about WHO you know (God).  And when God does the networking for you, it’s unmistakable by all and you just know that introduction was a God-thing and God-results flow from it.  Don't force it...God will make the connections happen in His time!

Happy Father's Day

Just as Proverbs 31 describes a godly woman, Psalm 112 describes a godly man.  It was a "checklist" I followed when I met "the one".  As we approach our 9th anniversary in a few months, I am thankful for this checklist.  If it weren't for this checklist, I wouldn't have the ministry partner in my husband that I have today. 

Psalm 112:1-8
Praise the Lord!
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
Who delights greatly in His commandments.
His descendants will be mighty on earth;
The generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches will be in his house,
And his righteousness endures forever.
Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness;
He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.
A good man deals graciously and lends;
He will guide his affairs with discretion.
Surely he will never be shaken;
The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance.
He will not be afraid of evil tidings;
His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is established;

Because my husband is like the righteous man described above, I can trust him to follow God's leading, to sense God's direction, to support God's call and to speak God's truth.  And, because of that, he isn't afraid to take over at home so I can go where God leads me.  He isn't afraid to be a dad, to embrace all the father/son bonding time (actually, they enjoy it a little too much when I am gone) and to protect our family from ministry.  He's not afraid to gently let me know when my priorities are shifting nor is he afraid to offer insight on areas he thinks I can be more effective or to advise me of people/situations that need extra caution.  Can't tell you how many times he has been right and how many times listening to him could have spared me headaches or heartaches. 

As we celebrate Father's Day this weekend, I'm thankful for a Psalm 112 man/dad.  His example is one that challenges me often especially as I see how "his heart is established."  As I reflect back over the 9 years of marriage, I can't help but see how God has put us together to learn how to serve one another, how to serve Him and how to serve others as a couple, as a family and as individuals.  There's something powerful, unified and uniquely special when your spouse sees the call of God on your life and his own role in that call and willingly sacrifices his life to follow God with you.

As I talk with mentors, they all talk about putting family first...some days it's easy to do, but most, it is not.  It's a continual struggle for me to keep my priorities in check.  However, as I remember Psalm 112 and the goodness of my husband, my love and appreciation for him deepens.  He reclaims priority as I remember how God designed us to minister together.  Today, God reminded me again of the pure, delightful gift that He has given me in my husband.  Love how He timed this much-needed reminder with Father's Day!  What a role model for me, what a role model for our son!

The Awkward First Post

There is something awkward about the first post and introducing what a blog is about...would rather get to the meat and leave out the fluff!  So, in an attempt to move from the awkward first post, let me give you a brief rundown on this blog. 

"Blessed To Be Me" was the title of my very first blog years ago and it's one that has stuck no matter the life stage.  I'm truly blessed to be me because God has given me so much through my family, my church and through serving Him.  He has made my life full and complete and it's one adventure after another when following Him in ministry!  Can't imagine doing anything else with my life and am thankful for my husband and son who see God's call and support me wherever God sends me. 

Rather than post about random life things as in past blogs, I'd like this blog to be a continuation of the leader blog started at www.mymissionfulfilled.com (about my journey leading myMISSION PIEDMONT) and serve as an outlet to share what God is teaching me about lay leadership. 

Over the past year, God led me to several young women who are in the same place I am.  And, I can't help but see this lack of connection among young leaders as we struggle alone in our own corners of ministry.  Once we begin talking to each other, there is a collective sigh of relief as we discover someone truly understands what compels us to ministry and the "why's" behind what we do and love to do and the challenges and pressures that come with ministry.  It's refreshing to be honest about where we are and to know that we're not alone. 

There are many resources and networks for women in full-time/professional church leadership, but very few for women in lay ministry--those of us who feel a distinct calling in our lives yet we don't exactly fit in with those who have seminary degrees nor those who are in professional (aka paid) ministry nor those who are heavily affiliated with Christian organizations.  So, hopefully this blog will encourage other lay women in ministry as we serve God together. 

I'm not an expert on leadership nor have tons of leadership advice and knowledge to share.  Yet, God has taken my heart for ministry and the past 13 years of lay ministry (single adult, youth, music and women's ministry) combined with growing up in senior adult ministry to shape me into who I am and how I lead today.  Most of what I've learned comes from simple (well, usually not-so-simple) trial and error as I seek to listen and follow God.  I've also learned a lot through the “it can’t be done or we’ve already tried it” adventures of having an apostolic mindset and challenging the norm with the new.   God also placed many strong leaders, both good and not-so-good, throughout my life to observe, learn from and follow (or not follow).  These leaders taught me more through example than a seminar or book ever could. 

Would love for you to continue on this journey with me!