It was reassuring to know that it is okay to be angry over situations, but it was quite limiting to "sin not". In hopes of justifying my anger, I tried defining the line where anger becomes sin and it was startling to see how little it takes for anger to change over to sin. And the more I saw where anger was becoming sin, the more confused I got.
As a mom who will do anything to make sure her child is safe and is not exposed to his offending allergens, what should my response to nut situations be beyond the obvious (not placing him in situations until we know it's safe, questioning everything and not taking basic common sense for granted)?
Leave it to God to point out His preferences in His Word once again! God already said that it's okay to be angry but to sin not (Eph. 4:26). God also said that He puts our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8). And, it's okay to "[Speak] the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. (Eph. 4:15, NIV). But that is where this answer takes a little turn ...
The second half of Eph. 4:15 talks about growing up in Christ, so it's only fitting that God would shout it loud and clear today as my eyes fell on Matthew 5:48 while our pastor was preaching in Matthew 6 (gotta love a parallel Bible that helps you not miss the point). "In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you." Essentially, God just told me to grow up! Ouch! There goes my anger, my justifications for that anger and my growing disdain for those nut offenders.
Growing up doesn't mean forsaking common sense in the slightest. I'm still not going to leave my child in questionable situations as much as I'm not going to leave him with people that I don't know without having more than one prior conversation with them.
So what does responding to nut situations in God's "grown up way" look like?
~ Growing up means finding creative ways to educate people on life-threatening allergies and working together rather than allowing the faulty actions of a couple people to outshine all the others who love NoNut and are committed to his safety.
Eph 4:2-3 -- "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
~ It means treating nut offenders the way I would like to be treated if I carelessly put another food allergy child at risk. I would expect to be reprimanded and for the parents to be leery of putting their child in my care, but I wouldn't want a Scarlet Letter to be cast instantly upon me and have that define me forever.
Matthew 7:12 -- "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them."
~ It means that some people will receive instruction and others won't. For those that receive instruction, they can be trusted. For those that will not receive instruction nor see the danger of their actions, the risk would be too high to leave my child in their care.
Proverbs 9:8-9 (NKJV) -- "Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will still be wiser; teach a just man, and he will increase in learning."
~ It means continuing to do all we can to keep NoNut safe, listening to those unexplainable gut feelings, asking a lot of questions and not assuming anything regarding his care. Yet it also means letting go and trusting those whom God has put in NoNut's path to take care of him for a season. God wants to work through NoNut's life and to use NoNut's allergies for His glory.
Proverbs 21:31 (Message) -- "Do your best, prepare for the worst--then trust God to bring the victory."
~ It means knowing where God wants us and being aware of where He is and isn't.
Luke 10:3-12 -- "Go your way; behold, I send you out as lambs among wolves. Carry neither money bag, knapsack, nor sandals; and greet no one along the road. But whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’ And if a son of peace is there, your peace will rest on it; if not, it will return to you. And remain in the same house, eating and drinking such things as they give, for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not go from house to house. Whatever city you enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you. And heal the sick there, and say to them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’ But whatever city you enter, and they do not receive you, go out into its streets and say, ‘The very dust of your city which clings to us we wipe off against you. Nevertheless know this, that the kingdom of God has come near you.’ But I say to you that it will be more tolerable in that Day for Sodom than for that city.
~ It means learning to deal with nut situations and moving on. The "Lord, make it not matter" prayer fits in well here. Every single time the "Lord, make it not matter" plea comes from the very center of my being, it means I have to let this go for the well-being of myself and my family. I'm choosing not to carry this any more because I don't have the mental or emotional capacity to carry it around; however, the emotions are still raw whenever I think about it or encounter nut offenders. Part of "Lord, make it not matter" is allowing God to refocus my thoughts on Him and what truly matters even if it means repeating, "Make it not matter," until it finally doesn't matter.
Proverbs 24:10 (Message) -- "If you fall to pieces in a crisis, there wasn't much to you in the first place."
And finally, the essence of growing up and responding to living this crazy, up and down, ever-vigilant life of food allergies is found in Matthew 6:34 (Message): "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up over what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."
I don't always have to react. I can choose to respond, instruct, prepare and protect from the overflow of my relationship with God which, by far, produces the more grown up response.
