For Such a Time As This

(Time to finish the post that's been sitting in my draft box for a couple weeks...better late than never!)

"For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”  Esther 4:14

Over the past couple months, there have been several new "soul stirrings"...things that don't make sense but I know are part of something larger, something God wants to do but isn't yet named.

As the Presidential election came to a conclusion last night and while reading many insights from trusted Christian leaders, it brought together some of the hesitations and fears I've had about accepting a new ministry role in May with a time commitment that lasts the same length of this Presidency!  

One of my fleshly hesitations has been what happens if I'm in this role and the world literally falls apart?  Will I be able to keep it together personally in order to be a calming force, a leader that doesn't wimp out when life gets tough?  Will I be able to hang in there and encourage other women going through the same things or will I quickly retreat in fear?  Will I know my God enough and trust Him enough to continually point others to Him no matter what may unfold in this world?  Will my life be filled with this unquenchable joy that speaks only of God in the midst of chaos?  Then, I have to stop as I realize that I can't do this and who am I to even think I could do this?  Am I even ready for this kind of responsibility?

But, God instantly calms my heart with this surety that He is in control and that there's no need to worry.  He keeps showing me that the face of leadership is about to shift somewhat (crazy sounding, I know).  What was required of a leader today will be different four years from now.  Will I know what God wants or will I shove my head in the sand?   

As I look over the next four years of where God wants to place me as well as seeing the political state and leadership of America, I see where the definition of Christian/ministry leadership will go back to the most basic form in order for all of us to make it through these uncertain times together.  Programs, numbers, money will fade into the distance as leaders can't solidly rely on these things as they once could.  Priorities will change as those they lead need more hope and encouragement than ever before to make it through worldwide chaos more so than they need another ministry goal, committee meeting (where nothing is accomplished) or sugar-coated sermons.  Prayer will become forefront as people realize that prayer is about all they have left but then realize that being before God is where everything is at. 

Leadership will be about simplifying, getting rid of the clutter in our lives and in our churches and ministries and getting back to the very basics that we've lost underneath all the good that we have done.  It'll be about meeting needs right where we are at and putting legs to our faith rather than having more conversations about it and how to do it.  It'll be about the people once again without the distractions of objectives, initiatives or standards. 

Through the simplifying, we'll come to a point of true missional living where we see a picture much larger than ourselves.  What was once the focus in the beginning days of ministry will come back into clear view as we strip down to God's original two commandments in Matthew 26:36-38:  "Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’"  That is where changing the world, true missions and discipleship all take place! 

 While I'm hesitant about the next four years, I'm optimistic.  I keep thinking of Mordecai's words to Esther in Esther 4:14 and have to wonder if everything God has allowed me to go through, all the lessons He has taught me and all the people and resources along the way have been in preparation for such a time as this.  I can see patterns, specificity and purpose to so many things that God has done that all lead up to this point.  I see the women all around me and I'm excited, energized and ready.  Yet I also see the news, hear the prophecy sermons and raise my eyes over the cost of groceries and start to question as I know that where God is sending me goes beyond a missions organization and church life. 

I don't know what tomorrow brings nor do I feel I fully understand the role God is preparing me for as He keeps showing me different aspects to it.  It's taken a couple months, but God has led me to this point where I have a deep-seated peace that He is with me and will equip me in specific ways to best serve and encourage the women in my path through myMISSION PIEDMONT and Piedmont WMU ~ for such a time as this! 

Getting By in Blind Churches

(Disclaimer:  This post is a culmination of events not geared toward any one particular church, ministry, group or person. And leave it to God to really echo the things I've been reflecting on through one of the speakers at our Association Annual meeting on the first night--a much-needed breath of fresh air!) 

Are we as the church buying into a false illusion that because we hosted this neat community event or special church service with exciting activities and entertaining special guests that we have done all we can to impact our community and lead someone to Christ?  What happens when the church thinks they are doing outreach when, in reality, there is nothing outward about it except for a Facebook invite or open invitation in the newspaper?  And, what gives when a guest walks into the church or a church-sponsored event and no one makes personal contact with them (I Corinthians 13:1-7)?

How do we as the church continually fail to understand that whenever someone walks into our doors (or groups) that they are searching for something?  It could be salvation, but what if it's something as "simple" as a word of encouragement or a nugget of hope or a moment of shared friendship--something to help them through a dark time in their life, something to make sense of all the confusion, something to explain the unexpected blessings or provisions?

Over the past 1 1/2 years, I've had this unique experience of visiting and/or having contact with various churches and Christian groups throughout Virginia and in other states.  Though every visit and/or contact has been God-ordained and quite an adventure, a few churches have made an impression so deep that it seriously boggles my mind.  How can we as the church continually miss the obvious?  And if I, as a young woman who grew up in church/ministry, feel soooo out of place in church, what is it like for someone who has never experienced church? 

Not too long ago, we attended a church gathering quite a few miles away from here.  What was supposed to have been this "exciting, incredible, you can't miss it" gathering ended for us about ten minutes after we arrived as only one person in the sea of faces acknowledged our presence and made us feel wanted.  Many looked our way but quickly looked away so not to make eye contact at our questioning faces (we had no clue where to go or what to do/schedule, etc.).  We felt like total outsiders.  I kept thinking, what if we weren't Christians and received that same kind of response?  What in that situation would make us want to know more about Christ and about the church?  What would draw us back there?  Honestly, nothing.

Unfortunately, what happened at that gathering has been somewhat representative of this past year.  For all the good that churches do, there is still something lacking as we have become blinded to what we have become as the body of Christ.  That blindness keeps us from discovering what all God has in mind for the church.   

We fail to see the people because all we see is ourselves, our groups of friends, our familiarity.  We fail to see souls because we have become so immune to our own souls, devoid of a consistent relationship with God yet knowing exactly how to turn on and off that relationship when needed (especially when in Christian circles).

We fail to see that Christ is everything because we fill ourselves up with anything that looks good and then try to cram God into whatever room is left for Him.  We watch the same TV shows and movies, drink the same drinks, wear the same skimpy clothes (well, if we can fit into them), say the same "choice words" and have become so much like our world that we blend in just enough to get by.  But is getting by what God meant for us as His children?  Is getting by what God meant for the church?  No...not at all (I Corinthians 10:23-24)!  And, sadly, we are so blinded as Christians and as the church--if not by our traditions then by our culture (I Corinthians 8:9-13).

What's the cure?  But, then again, what's the point especially when so many in our churches don't even care (or care to the point of loyalty to man over God)?  Who has the courage to take a stand, to live consistently even if it means living differently so the world can see an unmuddled God (II Corinthians 3:17-18)?  The church as it is isn't working at 100%.

So since I can't just go out and change the church, the question becomes how can I be the change I want to see?  How can I best live out the church as God has shown me so that others can see Him and His direction and desire for the church?  How can I contribute to the church (II Corinthians 2:7-8)?  And in those churches that we go to where we would much rather get a speeding ticket than endure another moment there, how does God want us to respond aside from excusing ourselves out of there as fast as we can?  What kind of example is that setting for my family as well?  It gets a little personal when we put that kind of spin on it especially when we see where we contribute to the problem by not having the courage to do something about it.

...Just food for thought--take it for what it's worth! 

I Corinthians 13:1-7

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.  If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.  If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

I Corinthians 10:23-24

Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.

I Corinthians 8:9-13

But God does care when you use your freedom carelessly in a way that leads a fellow believer still vulnerable to those old associations to be thrown off track.  For instance, say you flaunt your freedom by going to a banquet thrown in honor of idols, where the main course is meat sacrificed to idols. Isn’t there great danger if someone still struggling over this issue, someone who looks up to you as knowledgeable and mature, sees you go into that banquet? The danger is that he will become terribly confused—maybe even to the point of getting mixed up himself in what his conscience tells him is wrong.  Christ gave up his life for that person. Wouldn’t you at least be willing to give up going to dinner for him—because, as you say, it doesn’t really make any difference? But it does make a difference if you hurt your friend terribly, risking his eternal ruin! When you hurt your friend, you hurt Christ. A free meal here and there isn’t worth it at the cost of even one of these “weak ones.” So, never go to these idol-tainted meals if there’s any chance it will trip up one of your brothers or sisters.

II Corinthians 3:17-18

Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are—face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We’re free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.

II Corinthians 2:7-8

Now is the time to forgive this man and help him back on his feet. If all you do is pour on the guilt, you could very well drown him in it. My counsel now is to pour on the love.

Persevering Through Paralyzing Life Lessons

My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline, but don’t be crushed by it either. It’s the child he loves that he disciplines; the child he embraces, he also corrects.

God is educating you; that’s why you must never drop out. He’s treating you as dear children. This trouble you’re in isn’t punishment; it’s training, the normal experience of children. Only irresponsible parents leave children to fend for themselves. Would you prefer an irresponsible God? We respect our own parents for training and not spoiling us, so why not embrace God’s training so we can truly live? While we were children, our parents did what seemed best to them. But God is doing what is best for us, training us to live God’s holy best. At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God.

Hebrews 12:5-11 (MSG)

Back in the winter, disappointment, frustration and impatience got the best of me as I reacted instead of prayed about a situation.  I vented out of pure emotion (in an email of all things) and it didn't stay confidential.  Though it sounds like a little thing and "we've all done that" at least once in our lives, it turned out to be costly in so many ways.  I doubt that it was as costly to those who received the email vent as it was to me personally.

It was one of those life lessons that showed me reality, humbled me in unspoken ways and thoroughly broke me so I could see myself as God sees me (the good, the bad and the ugly--especially the areas that were lacking Him).  It's probably been the most defining moment for me this year. 

Though many months have passed since "the email", the consequences have been just as powerful as they were the day it happened as pockets of division (in more than one relationship) and bitterness began to creep in.  And even though the months have been lined with consequences, "the email" brought many blessings that spoke so much to the extent of God's grace, the healing that comes through community and the strength that comes from finding our full identity in Christ.

There were days when this mistake paralyzed, distracted and haunted me as it was hard to recover from.  Every time I think I "got it" and learned all there was to learn from that situation, God would unearth something else until we finally reached the root of the issue.

It's been so tempting to give a cheesy excuse and walk away from it all because, face it, it's flat-out easier to do that than to deal with the issues.  Yet, deep down inside, I knew I needed this.  I needed to hit rock bottom in order to see where I was lacking.  I needed to see that God wanted way more than skill, creativity, strategy and forward movement (even if it was for Him).  I needed to see that ministry is all about love and working in harmony with others as the body of Christ.  And if we can't do that, then we have no right leading others toward Christ.  Because when love isn't at the root of any relationship, it's not reflecting Christ but ourselves (and that's a scary place to be in)! 

I've been praying a lot about whether or not to simply cease everything and spend a year learning what it means to simply love others out of Christ's love.  But, God's response continually leads me back to revisiting my leadership philosophy, operating out of that for awhile and then making a decision (which I finally figured out what what my coach meant by "leadership philosophy" and all it entailed...something I didn't grasp before "the email").  As God helps me live out that leadership philosophy, gradual shifts are occuring that speak of God's transformational love and second chances (or third chances, maybe fourth...lost count).   

Today of all days, months after all of this happened, I ran across Hebrews 12:5-11 (above) and everything that has been going on instantly made sense!  For months, I've allowed myself be totally crushed by God's disciplining because I failed to understand the intent of it.  As I look at all the lessons, challenges and consequences that resulted from "the email", I see where it really has been training all along!  It was purposeful, necessary yet loving all at the same time.  God was in the midst of training me to see Him as my Father.  And through seeing His Fatherly love and intent not only through these verses but in all the things we've been learning in our homeschool Bible class, I could finally let it all go.  And through the letting go, I've been able to truly live again resulting in this peaceful balance that speaks so much of Him. 

No, I don't have it all down and I still have moments where, ummmm, my mouth shows where love is lacking.  But, there are moments when I get it, when I see what God can do and wants to do long-term.  It's going to take work, perseverance and living life through the power of the Spirit to master these concepts. Encouragement to press on through this training is laid out in Hebrews 12:1-3. 

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Compared to the cross and what resulted from the cross, it's worth seeing discipline and training all the way through.   

(And KT, while the devotional you sent totally related to where I was at and it was so timely, it didn't fully click until Hebrews this morning where all sorts of connections were made!  As I wrote this blog, I kept thinking that all of this sounded vaguely familiar and then was reminded of you! ;)  Thank you for planting the seeds!)