The Truth of Choosing Life (#fmf)

No matter what we’re facing, no matter what our minds tell us, no matter what actions we’ve taken, no matter where we are (or aren’t) at in life, no matter how happy or how sad we are, no matter what we’re feeling, when it all comes down to it, we all are given a choice that is summed up by the truth found in Deuteronomy 30:19-20:

“I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days…”

To choose life is to not only choose to physically live, but it means to choose things that bring life to us. These can be things as simple as doing one kind thing for ourselves each day (to remind ourselves that we matter as much as the people that we constantly give to), experimenting with a different solution (instead of repeating the same one that keeps us stuck), focusing our mind on the blessings right around us (to help chase away all the things that keep us worried or sad), pausing to think of the next right step (instead of mindlessly wander through our days), or reaching out to someone whether it’s a friend or a professional who can lend hope, perspective, and help (instead of don the Super Woman costume one more day wondering how to make the inside match the outside).

To choose death is to give up trying to find a different way, to stay silent and trapped, to resign to the torment of the mind thinking that you don’t deserve any better, to continue engaging in unhealthy behaviors or patterns, to secretly cling to lies hoping that somehow it will all be okay, to hide or run from the anger, hurt, and disappointment only adding to what’s already there, or to keep putting on the smiley face while dying inside not daring to risk vulnerability in life-altering moments.

Over the past month, I’ve had friends who have chosen life and friends who have chosen death. My friends who choose life risk what little they have for something they don’t have. They learn how to choose life when everything in them is shouting death. They have the courage to let others hope for them while they are struggling to take the next steps. And they discover a lot in the journey that they never would have otherwise. And for my friends who choose death, they lose their life (either physically or metaphorically). That sounds cold and final, but there is so much more to be had in the choice of living. There is so much more life yet to be lived. There are people to be loved and who want to love you. There are other ways out of the pain even if it feels like it might take a lifetime to find a way out. There is hope to be found even if it means literally clinging to someone else to help you through death-moments. 

In order to choose life, it sometimes feels like death as we lose familiar things (mindsets, patterns, behaviors) that have fueled us with a false sense of security, control, or personality. And sometimes, in choosing life, we might not even know what real “life” looks like and that is where the “He is your life” part of Deut. 30:20 gives hope. We aren’t stuck with our lives as we know them to be but rather given a new lives filled with freedom, courage, and adventure as we choose life one step at a time. We don’t have to have it all figured out when we take the next step, but somehow in all the stepping, our lives come together for something much bigger than we dared to dream (and if you don’t believe it, find someone else who does and borrow their hope for awhile—there is no shame in that at all because you are choosing life by reaching out for strength to stand until you can stand on your own).

My heart continues to grieve deeply for a precious friend who, in the heat of the battle, chose death a few weeks ago. Yet in her death, she is still pointing me to God and reminding me to “choose life”-- not just a functioning life, but a thriving life.

Five Minute Friday (#FMFparty) gives writers a word prompt. We are encouraged to write whatever comes to mind about that word in just five minutes (although, I usually go longer bcs FMF helps fuel that spark in me to write).  No editing, no perfection, only writing from the heart.  To find out more, visit http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/.  This week's word is "TRUTH."