Who Are We Abandoning Ourselves To?

Hmmmm...not sure which direction to go with FMF's prompt this week on the word "abandon."

Many of us in Christian circles hear that we should live our lives for God without abandon. But what if in trying to live our lives for God without abandon, we end up abandoning ourselves in the process? What if we've blurred the lines of our abandonment only to discover that we are abandoning ourselves for the sake of a church, for a ministry, or for all the things that we "should" do as Christians all the while still thinking we're abandoning ourselves to God? And in that process, we found ourselves still lacking, still wanting, and still striving to abandon all that we are to live the life God wants us to live? It's exhausting!!

Merriam-Webster defines abandon as "to give up control or influence; to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly; to cease intending or attempting to perform." So how can we be living in abandon to God if we are still trying to control or attempting to perform? At that point, we've exchanged who we are abandoning to--it's no longer God but rather to others or to ourselves. We've exchanged passion, peace, rest, and stability for exhaustion, performance, and a drive that never seems to satisfy. It goes back to Matthew 11:28-30 ... the Message translation speaks so beautifully of what true abandonment to God looks like.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

True abandonment to God isn't found in keeping rules or in maintaining appearances or in the forced rhythms that come with the Christian life (although, right abandonment to the right God will always lead to right living). It comes from letting down our guard, releasing the striving, and learning from Christ what it means to live in abandon. He never asks us to exhaust ourselves in following Him. He never guilts or shames if we need to withdraw for awhile to take care of ourselves. He doesn't ask us to be ministry machines that constantly do and constantly give without ever taking in for ourselves.

I'm discovering lately just how much I've let all the "should's", "supposed to's", and appearances of Christianity and Christian leaders dictate my faith more than God. I abandoned myself to a faith system thinking it was God and what God wanted when in reality, all He wanted was for me to come to Him, get away with Him, and to learn the unforced rhythms of grace. When I finally abandoned the church-life appearances and shoulds (without abandoning church itself), I was able to more clearly see God. For the past 3 months, I've been getting very well acquainted with Matthew 11:28-30 as God has been showing me how to "recover your life" and how to "live freely and lightly." I've been able to abandon some of my faulty ideas centered around godly things and godly people, for something totally different. As I learn the unforced rhythms, I don't feel the need to jump back into ministry full speed ahead, but I can pace myself and enjoy waiting on God for now. I'm enjoying the lightness and freedom that come from following God alone rather than having to keep up pretense that never seemed to be enough. There is such a difference in abandoning ourselves to God rather than abandoning ourselves to godly people and godly systems that it was worth the heartache it took in order to vividly understand that difference!

Five Minute Friday (#FMFparty) gives writers a word prompt. We are encouraged to write whatever comes to mind about that word in just five minutes (although, I usually go longer bcs FMF helps fuel that spark in me to write).  No editing, no perfection, only writing from the heart.  To find out more, visit http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/.  This week's word is "ABANDON."