So Why Can't I?

A few weeks ago, I began wondering why this person can take a vacation and not have to check in but I feel like I have to all the time.  Then I was wondering how that person could leave everything behind to have a spur-the-moment family day and not think twice about skipping out on a meeting.  Then I got to wondering why could another person have all that time with their children but then I keep getting asked to squeeze more into my packed schedule.  And I wondered, "When does it stop?  Why can't I go on vacation and leave everything behind?  Why can't I take family days and turn off my phone/email?  Why can't I say I no to activities when my calendar is bursting at the seams?" And then it hit me, I can!!!! 

When I honestly answer the "Why can't I?" question, I see what is at the root of it.  From there, I can make the necessary changes to live out the answer to that question. My "Why can't I?" answers lie in self-imposed busyness, the inability to say no, and the fear of failure, fear of disapproval, and the fear of missing out on opportunities. And when you line that up with God and His Word, it becomes so obvious where I'm missing the mark once again.  And I see where I desperately need God to infuse every single step, every single word, every single thought!  (See Phil. 4:5, Ecc. 3:1, Heb. 3:13, Gal. 1:10, Matt. 6:24, I John 4:18.)

One thing that I've been understanding lately is that we teach others how to treat us.  And in that, I've been discovering that no one is going to outright give me permission to take a break. No one is going to stand there and make me take time for myself and for my family. And generally the same people that are quick to tell me that I need to slow down and put my family first are the ones that have no shame in throwing more on me.  And, they are the ones that know how and when to call in a break for themselves without guilt and without the need to check in. Hmmmmmm...it really makes one stop and analyze what's going on and why.  In retrospect, people keep asking me to do things because I always say yes. They keep giving because I keep taking. And they keep offering because I keep doing regardless of cost. Frankly, I'm a quick, definite yes!

However, there is nothing wrong at all with people asking me to do things.  There are definitely things I want to do and love doing and would never even know about if I wasn't asked!  But there comes a point when it's time to grow up and realize that I am the only one responsible for my yeses and nos. I am the one responsible for setting my limits and boundaries. These things just don't happen without my intentional intervention. And I have to understand that life is a marathon, not a sprint.  It's a journey, not a destination, and just insert what other cliche fits here.

There truly is merit to pacing ourselves. I'm always eager to jump into everything with both feet and give 100%, but I'm discovering that it's okay to enter into things slowly. We have to pace ourselves because when we run at full speed ahead, we easily run over God without meaning to. When we constantly say yes without thinking about it, we are saying no to the God-ordained pace for our lives. And when we say no to God's pace for our lives, it's where we find that we are living out of ourselves instead in Christ. It's where we find ourselves striving so hard to fulfill everyone's expectations (including our own) that we project those expectations as coming from God when in reality, He never once asked for our striving. It's where we follow our plans and hopes for each day rather than take time to seek God for what He wants us to accomplish each day. That's where we're getting it wrong. 

Great freedom comes from living out of the "I can!" answer to the "Why can't I?" question when the "I can" is rooted in our view of God and His plan and pace for our lives.