Tonight, our family was nervous about letting NoNut go to a new class at a new-to-us church with teachers we have never met before. It takes a certain level of trust to leave your severely allergic child in someone else's care. It is life or death and we only have one chance to get it right.
While all churches say they welcome anyone, some are outright inconvenienced by children who are a little bit different while others embrace different with open arms and no outward hesitation. We have visited churches where, after explaining the epipens and allergies and sensing feelings of inconvenience and unwillingness to deal with it, we've marched NoNut right out of the classroom to sit with us in big church. Then we've had other churches that listened, saw beyond the allergies to the little boy that NoNut is and have embraced him and his allergies regardless of inconvenience. Those are the children's workers that have restored our faith in church and in humanity. We never know which kind of children's workers we're going to encounter whenever we visit a church and we've visited enough churches over the past six months that nothing surprises us anymore.
I have to admit that I was nervous all day about going to church tonight and leaving NoNut in a new class with people we didn't know. As much as I tried to hide it, I know NoNut picked up on it for when we arrived at the church, our little guy had those big, unsure eyes. I didn't want to look at him when he hesitated at my car door because he would see that my eyes matched his. I didn't know what to do but what we always do whenever we encounter moments like this: pray. I held NoNut close and whispered a prayer of protection and courage over him. He let out a little sob as nerves were taking over and then relaxed in my arms by the end of the prayer.
I couldn't help but silently thank God for this moment with my son...a prayerful, tender moment where we both knew that all we could do was trust God and have courage to walk into that church. It was a mother/son moment mixed with pure vulnerability, togetherness and faith. It was a moment that doesn't happen by chance but rather by a continual pouring into our child's life through sharing, praying, loving and discipling him...things we wouldn't have known about on a deeper level if we didn't have this homeschool journey to bring us back together as a family.
Homeschooling can be tough at times because it is life-on-life discipleship even in the moments of struggle. It's where faith is strengthened or hindered as your child gets a first-hand look at how you handle diverse situations. Do you live out everything you've been teaching him or cower in fear and portray the "do as I say but not as I do" mentality?
It's like homeschooling has this built-in layer of accountability as struggles become a teachable moments that reveals something about our human nature and about the character of God. What does it say to my child when we pray when we are nervous about new situations? And what does it say when God heard that whispered prayer in the parking lot and answered by giving him a teacher who understands allergies and has a granddaughter who requires similar care and could reassure him (and me) that she could take care of him?
Needless to say, we will be starting off our homeschool tomorrow with even more precious moments as we praise God together as family for how God answered our prayers at church tonight. There is just something powerful and special about going through life together as family and learning more through life moments like these than moments scripted in a textbook.
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