"Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are--face-to-face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of His face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become more like Him." II Cor. 3:16-18 (MSG)
Decisions and changes face me once again. With these decisions come so many questions and very few answers. The longer I go without direction and a concrete "I know this is exactly what God wants me to do" type of answer, the more impatience and frustration grow and the more persistent I become in demanding an answer. I know God doesn't work that way nor does He cater to our demands. I'm constantly reminded of Acts 17:24-25 and how God doesn't need us and then of Jeremiah 1:4-9 and how God has a plan for my life. Despite what I know, this inner battle between "needing" answers versus faith always escalates until suddenly, everything stops as God speaks loud and clear once again: will I let go of the timing, the plans, the details, the what-ifs, the fears in order to trust Him? He's not asking me to do anything, be anything or accomplish anything...He's simply asking me to trust Him.
Even though I still lack "the answer" and have some hesitations, I keep getting the same response from God. "Be still. It's not about the answer right now, it's about the process." It's about learning to be patient enough to seek Him instead of forge ahead with this decision and hope that He'll throw up huge red flags to tell me "no" if "yes" isn't the right answer. It's about taking time to let the process run its course, about slowing down long enough to enjoy all the little discoveries along the way.
Last night, I ran across II Corinthians 3:16-18 and it showed me why God hasn't given me answers but rather many awesome discoveries. These discoveries are not only laying a foundation for what lies ahead, but they are allowing me to experience the "living, personal presence" of God and see the work of His Spirit in a way I never have before. Between coaching, mentoring, sweet friendships and the all the lessons God has been teaching me over the past year, everything is starting to really come together in powerful ways that allow me to see and experience God anew.
Through this process of seeking Him and only Him, I see how He is transforming my life, my attitudes and maturing my desires. I'm seeing more of who He is and gaining a deeper understanding of what ministry is about. I've also seen that it's not that I've had it wrong all of these years, but rather I've been living out the understanding I've had of Christ and of ministry at that time. There is a constant progression from where I was 13 years ago when I first started getting my feet wet in church ministry to today but it totally corresponds to my relationship (and mainly, abiding time) with God. As our understanding and relationship with God grow, the way we think, behave and lead follows suit. And if it doesn't, I'm really seeing that it always traces back to to a lack of a consistent relationship with God.
We can't be in God's presence without it affecting us ... "our lives gradually become brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become more like Him." Because of that, I want to let go of all the questions and this quest for direction in exchange for His presence. And I love the fact that that is enough!
(lol...okay, Luann...I know this is something you've challenged me with several times over the past year--to stop seeking and just be in His presence....I finally understood what you were getting at! Thank you!!)
No comments:
Post a Comment