The Great Speech Dilemma

“A fool lets it all hang out; a sage quietly mulls it over.  When a leader listens to malicious gossip, all the workers get infected with evil.”  Proverbs 29:11-12

 

So many leadership books, so little time.  However, no leadership book is as insightful, thorough, powerful, challenging, convicting and directing as Proverbs.  For extra “umph”, try Proverbs in “The Message” translation!  Sometimes I wonder why I’m so determined to read all these other leadership books and fail to give time and attention to the Bible.  Everything I want in a leadership book is spelled out in Proverbs. 

Proverbs has a way of taking what seems complicated and breaking it down in simple format, black and white, that you just can’t miss what makes and breaks a leader.  I find it interesting that guarding your speech is one of the top reoccurring themes in Proverbs.  It’s also one of the top reoccurring themes in my life as I speak with women and listen to women. 

I tend to rationalize my speech quite often by thinking that everyone vents, everyone gossips, everyone says what’s on their mind (good and bad), and sometimes you just have to get things off your chest.  But through Proverbs I see over and over again that God wants more from His leaders.  He has a clear path already set out for us that isn’t marked with holes that we dug for ourselves nor is it lined with words that reveal our immaturity, insecurity or irrationality.

Proverbs 29:11-12 (above) is one of those verses that gets me every time I read it as I have seen where my speech has affected those around me and not always for the positive.  And I have also seen where speech from other leaders has permeated through the ranks and affected the spirit of those under them.  As I listen to others, it reminds me of myself and I pray that I do not sound like that, but sadly, I know I do at times.  

As a leader, do we even understand how much influence our words carry and how quickly it can discredit ourselves and our ministries? 

Are our opinions being taken as fact by the listeners when in reality it’s our own faulty interpretations coming across?

Are we silently giving others permission to share information without considering if it’s right or wrong before we pass it along? 

Where do we draw the line between sharing information about a situation with those we lead versus gossip?  And then how do we participate in those conversations with other leaders without crossing that line?

 

What kind of leadership are we promoting if we participate in conversations that aren’t edifying about others?  

 

Finally, as women leaders, how do we rise above gossip in the realm of women’s ministry whether big or small?  

Tough questions, yet even tougher to keep our mouths shut!  However, as tough as it is to be the quiet one, we can be encouraged by Proverbs 31:26:  “When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.”  The same God who fashioned the Proverbs 31 woman fashioned us and just as she is an example, we can be one, too!  It's not impossible, it's just going to take some work!  ;-)