The Book in the Trash Can

Several books we received with our Sonlight Core B this year have prompted more indecision than anything else as education and secular worldviews collide with Christianity. While I believe homeschool children do need to know about other religions (including famous false gods) and various theories like evolution that contradict the Bible so they may speak up for truth intelligently, I believe there is a time and a place for these discussions. 

All year long, I've felt this battle between teaching what is presented in our books versus sharing God's truth and imparting a Biblical worldview to my child.  Christians will argue all day long that our children need to know other religions, but do four, five, and six year olds need to know about other religions when they are still learning about their own God and learning the basics of John 3:16?  Do you teach your young child about statues, idols and mosques when they are still trying to figure out who God is and what church is all about?  Do you teach your young child about the Big Bang when that child is still learning that God created the world with order and the basics surrounding the Days of Creation?  Or, do you teach your young child what is true first so that they always have a foundation and point of reference (the Bible) that they can fall back on whenever theories and religions contradict what they know is true about God? 

It's fascinating to see the many answers and debates to these questions in Christian circles.  However, it seems like many people fail to take age into consideration. 

I wouldn't have thought twice about any of this and the effect of exposing children to other viewpoints at a young age until this winter when I heard my child role playing with his Lego minifigures.  His minifigures were "talking" about reincarnation and nirvana.  WHAT?!?!  No, no, NO!!!!  What happened to role playing about David and Goliath, Noah, the parables, and heaven and everlasting life?

While I thought covering world religions as presented in age-appropriate history books was "education" and what he's "supposed" to be learning (compared to public school counterparts), my child was picking up waaaay more than I thought he would.  That role playing incident opened my eyes to the fact that, as homeschoolers, we have complete say as to what our children learn and WHEN it is appropriate for them to learn it.  It made me go back to the reasons why we decided to homeschool and what we hoped to accomplish with homeschooling--knowing about world religions isn't on our list, but cultivating a relationship with Christ is.  So, if what we're allowing in our homeschool doesn't push us toward our goals, then why are we wasting time with it?  When I ran everything through that lens, it meant omitting pages in books or skipping several books altogether that contradicted what we believed.  Sometimes, it meant comparing a secular book with the Bible side-by-side in order to make sure my child can "see" and begin to understand why certain things are important.  As I reflect back on our school year, I spent more time correcting wrong ideas presented in our books than I did teaching the Truth outright (outside of Bible class and family devotions).  And while I have beat myself up for this many times this year, a situation happened today that reminded me that truth always wins and that God redeems our mistakes! 

Today, I was preparing Sonlight Core B books to sell when my child started flipping out over the Usborne "Greek Myths" book on top of the pile because we haven't read it yet.  I explained to him that it's a book full of stories about mythical gods and their adventures.  We have been exposed to plenty of religious ideas and all types of gods through our Ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome studies this year and it was time to fill our minds with things about the one true God instead.  Well, my child freaks out and respectfully but urgently asks, "Mom, why would you sell [this book] to another kid?  So he can learn about other gods?  Do you want to teach him about the other gods or the one true God?"

I admit that I thought my child was being a bit dramatic and I rationalized it away by silently thinking that it's just a book, it's untouched and I could get full price for it!  But as I continued on with preparing the books for sale, I could see my son's silent questioning glances and the wheels spinning in his head.  This is one time that I didn't pray for God to help me make the most of this teachable moment because I knew this meant laying down even more for Him.  God has been asking so much of us lately as we seek to align our lives closer to Him.  With each thing He convicts of us of and that we see that sends a mixed message about Him to our child and to others, it's like we become that much more "weirder" in the world's eyes (even in many Christians' eyes and even in our own eyes sometimes), so I was determined to hang on to that book this time!  Well, a few minutes go by and then my child speaks up with curiosity, not condemnation, in his voice, "Mom?  How important is telling others about the one true God to you?"   

All I could do in that moment was grab my child, hug him tightly, thank him for respectfully speaking the truth and then cry and pray at the same time.  When we were done praying, I asked him what he thought we should do with the book and he suggested we throw it away.  To his surprise, I handed him the book and it is now laying in the bottom of our trash can.  I quickly threw trash over it so not to be tempted to pull it out later.  As I thought about that book in the trash can, Proverbs 14:1 kept running through my mind: 

"The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands." 

Also, Phillipians 4:8-9 came to mind: 

"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you."

Those two verses provide courage to go against the grain, even the Christian grain, and to make sure only Truth is taught in our school first.  When that truth has been established in our child's heart, then it will be time to go more in depth with evolution, world religions and other controversial topics.  This doesn't mean we get rid of every secular book in our house, but rather it means we become more discerning and intentional in what we use as our main textbooks in educating our child. 

Homeschooling.  No one tells you how much it will change YOU, not just your children.  No one tells you how much your words will come back to you through your child's own mouth as they watch to see if your words and actions make sense and question when they don't.  And no one tells you that before you can "train up a child in the way that he shall go", God will have to train you first and His training can sometimes be the most painful, heart wrenching, on-the-job training that shakes up your current way of living and pushes you into a deeper place of relationship and conviction with God and with your family! 

Moments That Make or Break

Tonight, our family was nervous about letting NoNut go to a new class at a new-to-us church with teachers we have never met before. It takes a certain level of trust to leave your severely allergic child in someone else's care.  It is life or death and we only have one chance to get it right.

While all churches say they welcome anyone, some are outright inconvenienced by children who are a little bit different while others embrace different with open arms and no outward hesitation.  We have visited churches where, after explaining the epipens and allergies and sensing feelings of inconvenience and unwillingness to deal with it, we've marched NoNut right out of the classroom to sit with us in big church.  Then we've had other churches that listened, saw beyond the allergies to the little boy that NoNut is and have embraced him and his allergies regardless of inconvenience. Those are the children's workers that have restored our faith in church and in humanity.  We never know which kind of children's workers we're going to encounter whenever we visit a church and we've visited enough churches over the past six months that nothing surprises us anymore.  

I have to admit that I was nervous all day about going to church tonight and leaving NoNut in a new class with people we didn't know.  As much as I tried to hide it, I know NoNut picked up on it for when we arrived at the church, our little guy had those big, unsure eyes.  I didn't want to look at him when he hesitated at my car door because he would see that my eyes matched his.  I didn't know what to do but what we always do whenever we encounter moments like this:  pray.  I held NoNut close and whispered a prayer of protection and courage over him. He let out a little sob as nerves were taking over and then relaxed in my arms by the end of the prayer. 

I couldn't help but silently thank God for this moment with my son...a prayerful, tender moment where we both knew that all we could do was trust God and have courage to walk into that church.  It was a mother/son moment mixed with pure vulnerability, togetherness and faith.  It was a moment that doesn't happen by chance but rather by a continual pouring into our child's life through sharing, praying, loving and discipling him...things we wouldn't have known about on a deeper level if we didn't have this homeschool journey to bring us back together as a family.   

Homeschooling can be tough at times because it is life-on-life discipleship even in the moments of struggle.  It's where faith is strengthened or hindered as your child gets a first-hand look at how you handle diverse situations.  Do you live out everything you've been teaching him or cower in fear and portray the "do as I say but not as I do" mentality?

It's like homeschooling has this built-in layer of accountability as struggles become a teachable moments that reveals something about our human nature and about the character of God.  What does it say to my child when we pray when we are nervous about new situations?  And what does it say when God heard that whispered prayer in the parking lot and answered by giving him a teacher who understands allergies and has a granddaughter who requires similar care and could reassure him (and me) that she could take care of him?

Needless to say, we will be starting off our homeschool tomorrow with even more precious moments as we praise God together as family for how God answered our prayers at church tonight.  There is just something powerful and special about going through life together as family and learning more through life moments like these than moments scripted in a textbook.

Leadership Things I Know but Don't Know

This weekend, we attended the HEAV Leadership Conference for those leading homeschool support groups and co-ops.  It was the first time I attended anything "leadership" since stepping down from lay ministry leadership and taking a year hiatus from it all.

There were many times I second-guessed my decision to step down, but I knew it was necessary.  I didn't realize how much that one-year off was changing and shaping me until I was at the leadership conference this weekend.  All the waiting, all the tears, all the people left behind, all the emotionally-charged prayers and all the waiting (again) was really pruning in disguise after all.  There was rhyme and reason (and even rhythm) when, at times, it seemed like there was nothing left except wondering if God had forgotten about me in the desert.  

Listening to the keynote while being on this side of things was enlightening.  How I wished I had known all of this a few years ago before going into myMISSION/WMU.  Yet sometimes, experience leaves that lasting impression that words could never reach.

Things I heard and read about in 2011 that didn't make sense, made perfect sense this weekend as everything came around in a full circle!  This weekend was a much needed building block that gave me hope and a renewed purpose to keep moving forward as God leads even if it's not what I envisioned for myself and for my family.  I need to keep praying, waiting and seeing this process through until God produces His desired result! 

The keynote speaker encouraged us to read Exodus 17-18 which is one of my favorite leadership passages.  Yet, I realized this weekend that I have never sought to understand it and that is why I keep missing the mark!  This Exodus passage, the keynote and even other leaders I spoke with kept pointing out in roundabout ways that leadership is discipleship (aka relationship)...nothing more, nothing less!  It's not what you do or are qualified to do nor what you have done in the past nor your potential for the future.  It's not about the accolades and glowing recommendations you receive nor about the number or groups that you have led.  I know that, but I don't "know" that at the same time.  The achiever/doer in me still tries to prove that I'm the leader everyone thinks I am while Christ in me is begging to silence that so that I can simply "be" before Him so His overflow in my life is what I am giving to others.

Several times this weekend, the keynote talked about how leadership is pouring into people what God has poured into us and helping them become more like Jesus.  That is what the definition of discipleship is.  Whenever we lead in that mindset, we are continually passing on to others rather than holding on and doing things ourselves and merely having people follow us...another thing I know but don't "know"!

The other thing that kept jumping out at me this weekend was how much a leader needs to let go!  Part of the letting go is clearly defining expectations and directions to the team and then removing my hands from it and letting the team have the experience so they can learn and grow, too.  I look back at my WMU days and see where I had the verbiage and thought I was letting people learn on their own.  And they did do things and did them well but according to how I wanted them done and to my approval, never fully relinquishing control or giving enough trust in the team I had.  If leadership is discipleship, then I must clearly and fully communicate (rather than assume), instruct (rather than give info), and then step back (rather than making sure it's always done right).  I'm really seeing why some things worked and other things didn't with myMISSION/WMU and why some of the leadership hurdles tripped me up.  

Here I am one year later and this leadership hiatus has changed my priorities, shifted mindsets and raised questions that I haven't been able to answer.  However, yesterday, I was reminded of the fact that leadership is about continually passing on to others.  So, what is it I am passing on?  How am I passing it on?  And, why am I passing it on?  The answers to these questions remove the indecision and bring clarity and focus.  I am reminded that God has a distinct plan for leadership and if I follow it as outlined in Exodus 18:17-23 rather than follow any human leader or man-made leadership ideal, the same mistakes will not be made twice!  

Exodus 18:17-23 (MSG): 

"Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him. Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave. But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.”