Leadership Lessons from 2012

"Get wisdom! Get understanding!  Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth.  Do not forsake her, and she will preserve you; Love her, and she will keep you.  Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom.  And in all your getting, get understanding."  Proverbs 4:5-7

My biggest piece of leadership advice from 2012 for any young leader is to let wisdom and discretion be your guide in everything, including relationships!  If you have those unexplainable gut feelings and red flags, never, ever ignore them!  Ignoring them can cost you greatly!  Proverbs is soooo true about how wisdom shows you the way and how necessary it is to chase after her and maintain sure footing! 

Yet when we lay wisdom aside, we find ourselves in places we never intended to go!  In 2012, I needed those unintended places so I could realize my identity in Christ.  But wow, did the lessons have to be so hard and painful?  Maybe so, for they taught me that as a leader, wife, mom and daughter of God, I'm accountable for everything I say and do.  Some consequences are ones you'll never see on the outside, but ones I see so clearly on the inside as God has shown me what He could have done but couldn't because of me (either by choices, playing games with Him or holding back from Him). 

There still are moments when feelings of pure embarrassment and foolishness rush in from situations during 2012.  Yet, these feelings serve as scars--scars that remind me of God's forgiveness, grace and love.  Without understanding what He has done for me on the cross and how that affects every aspect of life and ministry, I couldn't move forward.  These scars also remind me of the price we pay when our identity isn't solidly in Christ and when we get side-tracked by others or things we think we need (or are missing out on).  And, these scars remind me of 2012...a year of mistakes that I don't care to repeat again. 

In 2012, I learned the hard way that leaders have to be careful in who they trust...it matters greatly and affects waaaaaay more than you can imagine when you trust the wrong person.  I've seen it happen to others in the past, but this is the first time it's ever happened to me.  Sometimes, people you regard as a great leader or mentor will use you (yes, that's a tough fact to swallow), look you straight in the eye and lie to you (and then you begin to notice how they do it to others), and they say things they know you want to hear in order to get what they want from you. 

And, be leery of the words, "This stays between us!"  Use that phrase as a warning!  If those words have to be uttered pre-conversation, then maybe this isn't a conversation worth having with that person.  People you fully trust and who trust you, don't need those words because trust and confidentiality is a given.  However, live by the fact that everything you say can be repeated (and added on to) so be careful in what you say and who you choose to say it to.

I also learned to not always take people at face value, to make people earn my trust rather than freely give it to them (that's a work in progress), and to speak up and not be afraid to ask questions (even if they are older or are a mentor). 

I learned that just because someone is older than you and has been in ministry longer than you doesn't mean that they are automatically living in God's power and have a devoted relationship with Him.  So choose your mentors wisely...they will affect you either positively or negatively.  Sometimes, it's not until after the mentoring relationship is over that you see how much they were preying on your weaknesses (sins) and how "not right" for you that relationship was.  And as you look back, you start seeing where God was like, "Hey! ... Hi!? ... Hello???? ...." and you totally missed it because you were standing on someone else instead of God!

See why living by the Proverbs is crucial to a young leader?  It spares you from the hard life lessons!  It's never too late to start listening to Proverbs.  Sure, it might make you feel foolish all over again as you read your situations in black and white, but there is something strangely comforting about seeing your life lessons in the Word because it's where you begin to see God's hand even in your mistakes, God's love that never fails, and God's desire for us to live a better way!  So, carry on ... but wisely!  :)

My Words for 2013

I've sat down many times to write a New Year's post but the words will not come.  I don't know how to translate all the things God has been showing me into sentences and paragraphs as they have been deeply thought-provoking and requiring a life response.  To talk would cheapen His lessons and to share would be premature as He is still chipping away at a few things to make room for a better understanding.

So, simply put, here are my words for 2013--words that answer who God wants me to be this year, words that provide an instant checklist for every choice and decision, and words that push me to action:

a devoted, disciplined, decluttered disciple

It's a lot, but it's doable (yes, the letter "D" has been popping up everywhere to support these words...it's crazy)!

I love how these words give me a way to weed out bad vs. good vs. best and a way to weed out the things that don't create rhythm in my life through asking the following questions (keep in mind that nearly everything can be filled in the blanks below):

    ~  Will _____ help me become more devoted to Christ and fuel a passion for Him or will it distract me or cause me to lose my focus on Him?

    ~  Is ____ helping me be more disciplined?  (Hey, the dishes are actually getting done every night because wasting time on Facebook isn't a picture of discipline.  I'm finally making progress on my stack of books because discipline means being mindful instead of sitting mindless in front of the TV.  And I'm discovering that skipping McDonalds has more than financial benefits as healthier choices are made and I feel better.)

    ~  Do I really need _____?  (from another purse or "thing" to an attitude, emotion, activity or ministry--it makes me question why I'm hanging on to things and what is my motive)?

    ~  What would Jesus do?  As ultra-generic as this question is, if I want to follow Christ and be His disciple as well as disciple others, I want to do what He does and respond as He would out of a genuine desire for Him.

Being a devoted, disciplined, decluttered disciple is a tall order, but this is who God has called me to be this year!  I'm excited about this journey of discovering Him and intentionally making my life a testimony of what He can do when we choose to let Him!

What are your words for 2013? 

Get Out of the Churchy Bubble

Last Friday, another mass school shooting rocked our world.  As the days have passed by, media and America has increased its cry for something to be done.  Neither political party seems to have an answer and no "expert" on guns, education, and psychiatry can manage an intelligible answer except for "we need to have more conversations."

Do Americans not realize that we are wasting time by talking about the need to have conversations on the tough issues when we could simply start having these conversations?  The need was there long before last week...why weren't we talking then?  And what about those who have been trying to talk all along but their message hasn't been heard?  A knee-jerk response will create ineffective legislation which will hurt, label and probably tax more than help.  But then prolonging the conversations will make our instant-gratification society bored and quickly forget what is important and why.  

In talking, we must not forget the conversations within our churches.  Why not consider looking at what Christians have allowed our churches to become?  What are we doing to help the mentally ill aside from raising our eyebrows at their vulnerability when they admit that they are taking meds and later gossiping about them (via the "prayer request" method) as if we have never struggled with seasons of anxiety, depression or loneliness ourselves?  What are we doing to reach out to today's young adults aside from saying, "Yes, we want you in church!" but then fail to reach out to them outside of their own programming or give support beyond the Sunday or Wednesday service?  What are we doing to be voices in our community when we can't even find our own voices in our own churches to stand up against compromise, cliques and comfortable faith?

We have created this bubble that exists within our churches.  Within this bubble, we are comfortable and safe.  And, whoa!  Shame on the person who dares to speak up against that bubble!  I learned that the hard way this week as I made a FB comment about the shooter and then quickly deleted it after being reprimanded. 

We are the ones who have graded ours (and everyone else's) sins.  We are the ones who created standards and then rationalized them when we couldn't keep them ourselves.  We are the ones who have taken over God's decision on who is worthy of God's love and who is not!  We've fooled ourselves into thinking that we aren't that bad but in reality, we are all mere choices away from committing a heinous crime.  The only difference is that we are choosing Christ.  We have chosen to experience His mercy, forgiveness and grace! 

While we saw lostness in the worst way last week, I can’t help but see that God’s love still overshadows everything!  Are we supposed to ignore the fact that this shooter and every other criminal is made in God's image just like us?  That if that criminal accepted Christ, then he would be in heaven next to us?  That thought is a little nauseating, honestly.  And then I have to stop and listen to myself as I judge this man and hold him to what I think God wants while totally ignoring my own sins in the process.  Is not envy or gossip or failing to rest in the same Ten Commandments list as murder and adultery?  Did not the same God who fashioned me with His hands fashion that murderer with His hands also?  Did not the same God who sent His son to die on the cross die for that man as well?  Doesn't the Bible mention that God is not a respecter of persons so that means God offers mercy, love, forgiveness and judgment to everyone equally?  And that all of this comes down to personal choice?

What missions/ministry opportunities have been lost because we failed to see and love others as God does?  Please know that in no way am I condoning what happened last week, but I can't help but see a broken, lost young man--a man that, who knows, might have made a completely opposite choice had the Body of Christ stepped in and ministered to his family from the beginning.  This family might have made different choices had a Believer taken time to simply hear the desperate cries of this mother who was at her wits end.  Or, they might have been led to resources and/or connections to Christian professionals who believed in the power of prayer and in the power of God to transform lives. 

I look around me and see broken people everywhere...no one is exempt from brokenness.  How many times do I pretend not to see brokenness because I don't know what to say or do?  How many times have we wished that someone (even someone from our own churches) would step outside of Facebook and/or the Sunday services and be a real face, a real ear, a real hug or a real voice?  What if that was the one chance that would change the course of everything in that person’s life?  What if that was the one chance that could have prevented last week's deaths from happening?

After last week, we have got to pop that safe Christian bubble that we're in!  We have to go against the grain, have courage to leave our church cliques and man-made ideals behind and look at life through God’s eyes!  We also have to nurse the broken in our churches so we can nurse the broken outside of our churches. 

Yes, it’s uncomfortable, it's messy and it's real.  When we get beyond ourselves and see the heart of God yet fail to act, our lives become equally uncomfortable, messy and real as we make a blatant choice to ignore God and reap the consequences of it (been there, done that and it's not fun)! 

I keep sensing this urgency that we are missing the mark as the church and it's time to stop playing around, time to stop sitting in our comfy churchy bubbles and truly live out what the Bible says.  For those who already are, hope is around the corner and we have to stay the course and know Who we are looking at regardless of who is (or isn’t) walking alongside us!  It's tough and it's lonely sometimes, but keep hanging on!