Here I Am (#fmfparty)

Here.

Here I am walking in the all too familiar place of wanting more of God and less of self, wanting the life He has for me and less of the life I am striving toward, and wanting to be filled with God-like character and depth and less of the trivial pettiness that often comes my way.

Here I am sensing that God desires it all yet holding back because I fear what it is He really wants because I don't know how to live a life in reckless abandon in Him where every step is not measured and calculated.

Here I am tasting remnants of God in my life yet still unsatisfied because it's easier to live out of what is certain that I can create than to live out of His Sovereignty where I willingly hand over all control, holding nothing back.

Here I am seeing God in the details as He keeps working out His good in my life yet I still remain blinded because fear hinders me from seeing all that there is to see.

Here I am hearing God whisper to me through His Word, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." I John 4:18. And then Jeremiah 29:13 "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."

Here I am confessing my desperate need for God because I know I can't keep going on in this state. Revelation 3:15-21 says, “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne."

Here I am trusting without fear because God is here. He enables me to walk, sense, taste, see, and hear that He is God through His loving command in Psalm 46:10-11: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge." He beckons me to come to Him and to know that He is God. To not just know with my head, but to use my God-given senses to "taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!" Psalm 34:8. "And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen Me and yet do not believe. All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out." John 6:35-37

God, Here I am.


*Five Minute Friday (#FMFparty) gives writers a word prompt. We are encouraged to write whatever comes to mind about that word in just five minutes.  No editing, no perfection, only writing from the heart.  To find out more, visit http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/.  This week's word is "HERE".